Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, I am new to this forum and am looking for some advice!
My little boy who is now 7 has been assessed for ASD but was given a no diagnosis due to improvement since his younger years however has been said to have traits of ASD and pends further investigations if they persist.
My question is about the traits he shows specifically within the social aspect and wondered whether anyone else has seen this with their children, whether they have an ASD diagnosis or not.
When my son plays with other children, he automatically assumes that when he approaches other kids, that they know what game he is playing. For example, he was at martial arts today, 2 boys were playing tag together and my son ran up and started to play along without telling them he wanted to join in, so the boys were non the wiser that my son wanted to play, however my son firmly believed that they were aware he was now apart of the game. (I hope I am making sense).
Another thing I have noticed is how bothered he becomes when children don't want to play a game with him, he can play the same game over and over and over again so it can be quite repetitive and can become quite upset if they don't want to play anymore but is quite happy to tell another child he doesn't want to play a game with them if he isn't up to it what not.
I wondered if this is similar to anyone else's children? It's quite upsetting to watch sometimes when I see him with other children at times.
thanks :)
Oh geez you just unlocked a memory I didn't know I had. I know I've definitely joined in on a game without asking anyone if I could play too.
On the matter of not getting a diagnosis due to social growth, one thing I might suggest is to make sure your son knows not to say or do only what he thinks other people want him to do. I've made a mess of appointments with counsellors because I told them what it felt like they wanted to hear.
On the subject of play, it sounds like your son is setting rules for how he thinks things should work, and expecting others to intuitively know them. He wants to play, he involves himself in the play, so obviously he's a part of the game now. If other children don't want to play a game they've been playing anymore, but he isn't done yet, then they should keep playing it until he's done.
At that age selfishness comes easily, and your son seems to have an underdeveloped sense of social awareness. If he does have autism, then that's nobody's fault and is just a complication of the disorder. Social awareness and, indeed, empathy, are things that have to be nurtured.
The good news is that if you can develop his sense of empathy, you could find that he develops a strong moral compass as what he determines as the "rules" will then include the wellbeing of others.