Do you feel like you have a voice?

Historically, I've felt too embarrassed and intimidated to share my opinion, or stick up for myself. Unsurprisingly, this made it easy for me to be taken advantage of and walked over.

When I first discovered autism communities online, at first I enjoyed it but getting through to strangers on the internet is not as important to me as getting through to friends & family. 

I'm not good at speaking on the spot, which is countered by the fact that I'm good at coming up with jokes/humour on the spot. Therefore, when dealing with confrontation, I can't deal with it. I then beat myself up because I didn't respond and ruminate over what I should have said. I might end up doing this for years.

There's also certain things I've gone through in my life that I don't feel I'm allowed to speak about (outside of therapy) because I fear that I'll be judged and no one will even want to hear it. That's probably the main feeling I've had throughout my life (no one wants to listen).

Does anything help with that?