Published on 12, July, 2020
I am a 30 year old single mom to 3 children, I have high functioning autism and I don’t have any connection with any other autistic adults. I have a really supportive family and a few friends but I often feel alone with my autism. I constantly feel like I am only just keeping my head above water trying to be the best I can for my children. I am being pressured by the job centre to get back into work but my anxiety is very bad at the moment. My youngest daughter is only 2 and I have minimal help from my children’s dad for childcare or finances. I feel like I’m drowning and no one quite understands just how much my autism affects me every day. hopefully there’s someone out there who can reassure me that I’m not the only one who feels like this
Hi! I'm a single mom of 4 who is recently exploring what it is to be autistic. When you mentioned feeling like you are drowning, that is EXACTLY how I feel! Sometimes, I feel like I'm flapping my arms in a raging river and all the neural-typical people are standing on a bridge above me. I can't even ask for help because I'm trying so hard not to drown. No one helps or sends a life-saver. They just tell me to "Swim Harder!" or "You're doing great!" or "Let me know if you need help." "Why are you always so stressed out?" or "Why did you jump in the river in the first place?" I've often thought, I don't even need someone to save me. I just need someone to jump in the river with me so I don't feel so alone. You are definitely not alone in your feelings. I do understand and I hope you do what is best for you and your babies. Don't feel pressured to work if that is not what is best for you. Welfare is created for these situations. There is no shame in taking help when you need it.
I never do hand flapping in my life and I get vary sad when I am alone and I don,t have any friends and I wish I do so I can go do things