Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello
My partner recently started a new job in retail. He was really enjoying it at first and was told he would pass his probation but then he made a mistake as he hadn't been trained properly. He was contacted by a senior manager for the mistake he made and he explained he was not trained properly. After this, his boss turned on him and the boss has made all the others in the team turn on him too. The boss will now not respond to his texts and messages if he has a query and he feels so isolated now.
He spoke about this to an autism support service who told him he was being rude standing up to his boss and now he feels even worse and actually suicidal.
My partner is awaiting an autism diagnosis and did not disclose this to his employer, he feels so lost now as he has been in so many jobs and let go and he feels bullied and picked on. He's been desperate to find remote work but no one responds.
Apologies for the rant, but if anyone has any advice on what he should do next it would be really appreciated.
We are at breaking point in our relationship too as I am finding it mentally exhausting but also love him too and he has no money and no where else to live.
Wow, some incredible advice here, sounds epic, I agree with it all.
It's hard to be able to give advice without knowing all the aspects and what the current situation is at the moment. As you say your partner has been in and out of jobs for awhile, it sounds like this current employer may be a good place to remain.
I don't know where you are in the country, but there may be a local form of Advocacy who may be able to help, for an example of a Dewsbury based company who offer the service, I include for reference a link to Cloverleaf Advocay: https://cloverleaf-advocacy.co.uk/
They work with a range of people who are finding it difficult to communicate with bodies of people (Doctors, Lawyers, Council Members etc.) giving advice and support in certain situations.
I would recommend that going to the management with a company like this to state a case for reconciliation would be a progressive move forward. What I personally would like to see in a meeting is
- the opportunity to your partner to explain what happened, that they felt defensive and upset at the criticism. That this possibly came from a lifetime of living with Autism, and having to face bullying, ridicule, insults related to acting in NeuroDiv ways not understood.
- the opportunity for your partner to say, although this is true, they understand that accusing his employers of mismanagement and failure to do their job was wrong and has lead to deterioration of their working relation, and to apologise for the upset caused.
- finally a chance to explain how important this job is to them, that they value it, and value being a part of the team and wish to make amends and return to a better working relationship - be friends again.
This has the potential to go completely the other way (i.e. go really well), if your partner can make the awesome move to put themselves on the line, open up, take responsibility and show a genuine interest in the business and management, they could end up coming out of this in a really good position.
Good luck,