jokes

today I wore a shoe on one foot and a slipper on the other cause I couldnt find my slippers this morning

boiler got fixed on Friday. they said it was fixed last time and it wasnt but now it is.

so im no longer enduring arctic conditions. i did eventualy need to use a blanket but I didnt use thick gloves and a coat. although I could of done that for fun cause of the situation. however i did endure cold taps and baths and cold air in the house  for a couple of days so my resiliance was tested but i made it and hopefuly I will be ready for antarctica although i would probably need to wear a thick coat  and everything if I went there though 

It's a shame that he doesn't have boiler powers 

Boiler man is coming tomarow (on Friday) so meanwhile I have been enduring arctic conditions for a couple of days. dont worry he doesnt look like a boiler or anything and he doesnt have powers so cant warm the place up without tools but the name fits 

yes im very resourceful and like to take advantage of what i have. i have imagned myself in the woods on my own one day and have tryed carving a log with a stone and also tryed carveing peices of wood  with stone which i discovered that im good at. iv also used sticks to make things out of my imagantion and resourcefulness is very useful. i can also draw with stones and i know what types of stones are good for drawing and carving and know about differant types of stones like flint and i actualy have some flint which i can use for carving i have also made use of items in other ways in case i ever needed it.

 it is autumn so the aiir is cold outside and cause the boiler is off its freezing cold inside, so the conditions are perfect. forum will be going off for an upgrade so Iv had to prepeare for that aswell so thats two things its like a movie. next im going to find myself in the woods somehow i bet the way things are going. my imaginative and  ambitious nature loves these things. the boiler man is here now which has spiled the fun for my imagantion but it was fun while it lasted. the boiler man. we call him that we dont know his name.  so its not his real name. iv heard the mans name thats come but i prefer boiler man. no he doesnt heat things up. he fixes boilers

You are funny, Zo

so the boiler has broken so someone is going to come  to fix it today.  in the mean time im prepareing for the arctic. hopefuly by the time they fix it I will develop the  resiliance and be  ready for arctic conditions in case I ever want to go to Antarctica in the future. the warm water is cold and the house has been cold since last night. bath was cold. air is cold. just need gloves and a wooly hat. as you wont get blankets in the arctic i must resist even though I have one if i want to take the oportunity develop the resilience but other than that im good to go 

I've been watching some old episodes of come dine with me and in one there was a guy who told jokes constantly.

This one he told is for us oldies who remember Tom Jones:

 A guy went to the doctor and told him that he couldn't stop hearing the song Delilah in his head. "Don't worry, you've just got Tom-Jones-itis" said the doctor. "Is it anything to worry about?" asked the patient, to which the doctor replied "Its not unusual".

So today i havnt been thinking properly cause my mind is still processing things cause iv had alot of things  going on as a result I have done lots of funny things 

first one was this morning I went to the cuboard and took a plate out for my lunch but my mind was so busy that i oblivious to what i was doing put the plate back in then took it out and put it back in a couple of times causeing me to be comfused as to why i still havnt put my plate on the side yet. i did put it on the side eventualy. i put my crumpits on the plate on the table and sat down with my crumpits un buttered and was there for some time before i realised that i was sitting on the chair with a crumpit in front of me with butter then put on the side and buttered it as usual. later on in the afternoon i came down for a snack. had some. then wanted a yogurt but i was stareing at it for a few minutes so in the end i just went up stairs. came back down i was like going to get the yogurts out this time but was anxious about taking the yogurts out and taking it out made me more anxious so i ended up getting the rest of the yogurts out and spent the next couple of minutes choosing from all 3 even though there all the same as i was annxious about having any of them even though i really wanted them so i said to one of the staff i just cant decide which yougurts i want iv been at it for ages. eventualy i just put it back in and put them all back in making sure they were all exactly as they were before i took them out. then i looked in my snack cupboard and stared at it for 5 minutes cause i couldnt decide what on earth i wanted so i just stood there and  stared at it for some time. then i opened it again and closed it again then opened it again and i was like im just going to go upstairs now and didnt have anything 

now this evening after washing up a spoon i put it on the table for some reason so i put it in the draw. but i also had my plate and i hovered it over the draw that was still open  and was going to put it in the fork and knife and spoon draw then i was like why are you putting it in the draw so put it in the plate cuboard 

Brilliant 

How many tickles does an octopus have?

Ten tickles.

Oh dear! Still funny though.

My son told me this joke at age 5.

why did the squirrel swim on his back????

To keep his nuts dry

Hey Zo

I love your stories and thanks for sharing them. 

They really cheer me up

so one day It was hot inside but cold outside i was looking out the window the sky was as white as a white blanket and it was quiwt dark so I said its very sunny today isnt it maybe you should sit outside and bathe in the sun 

then i proceeded to say that we need to turn the heating down but alternatively we could just go outside cause its cooler outside than inside even when its hot 

when it was raining if I was stuck out in the rain with family I usied to say well wev had a shower thats the main thing and I dont need a hairwash cause we are wet enough already. 

staff sometimes go out for there breacks. after i had my meds when there was thunder and lightening I said so do you want go outside? 

the other person said no so I said I thought you liked thunder and lightening them they said not when its lightening so I said well ok then 

when autumn arived It got dark earlyer so in the morning I said good afternoon and good evening  and good night

or In the afternoon I used to say good morning

and in the evening good afternoon and in the morning good evening 

i did it on purpose and did it almost every day   

the morning would be the evening if I was still tired but iif im not tired the morning would be called the afternoon amd the afternoon the evening since it gets dark earlyer 

eventualy I got into a habit of doing it every autumn and whatever one i used in spring for spring  or whatever one i used for summer i would use for summer since it gets dark later in summer 

in summer 

I would say good morning in the afternoon since its light for longer and good afternoon in the evening 

and so  eventualy ended up saying the wrong words for the wrong times of day when not doing intentionaly anymore and due to it becoming a habit  without being aware cause of it and  having to correct myself and eventualy get out of the habit and use it in the right order 

objects in picture is X-ier than they appears.

yes I literaly showed no emotion at all in my tone of voice and I was uncertain how to react so you can imagane. cause of that the staff thought I sounded like I wasnt looking forward to it so that is what led her to joke about telling the night staff.  she was still laughing about my dead pan response after i left after the joke 

I often sound dead-pan - I know what you mean 

so another funny story for some reason the night shift support staff in my care home wasnt here all day when they normaly come in at 12 so at almost 4 I went down and asked is she on night shift and they said yes so I said oh after a pause where is she and one of the support staff exsplained it is cause she is doing a night shift tomarow aswell as today 

now to process what is being said there was a very long pause and due to  being very reserved I un  intentionaly sounded dead pan and said ah so the staff said il let her know your looking forward to it and then said just kidding