Helping my partner understand

This is great advice. Thank you so much!

No book can work magic in isolation.  However, it can act as a good introduction to initiating relevant conversations about Autism. 

You are correct about the self advocacy requirement - and yet a book might help provide prompts upon which to build your "in my case I find that ..." begining a topic. 

Maybe don't attempt too many topics at once - perhaps, aim to layer introducing a new conversation topic, in context of life's events, as they occur. 

It is likely to be an iterative process. 

Patience will be required - as a partner will likely be required to take onboard a lot of information which:

a) is unexpected and new to them,

b) needs them to also be afforded time to think more about what it might mean in terms of habitual changes within your relationship / environment and

c) it would not be reasonable (nor realistic) for them to (all of a sudden) instantly "get" without a slew of questions / concerns / points needing clarification - they might want to discuss with yourself / others they trust when seeking guidance and advice.

You are both likely to be responding to news you had not anticipated and some people can find their partners are really supportive quite early on, some may seem somewhat overprotective, others might effectively be in denial for longer than ideal.  In any event, adjustment time will likely be needed for both parties. 

IIWII42 said:

now trying to get my partner to understand more as I’m also learning

Sisyphean tasks

'Untypical' by Pete Wharmby is good. I had a lot of 'I thought I was the only one!' thoughts when I read it.

did you feel as if it helped him understand a little better? I know a big part of this is ALSO advocating for myself and my needs which I’m working on but I’m over here still trying to figure it out hahah 

This is a great visual. Thank you! 

There is a scene in Man of Steel, when Superman is a boy and because of his super senses he is hearing and seeing (x-ray vision) everything at once. He gets overwhelmed and locks himself away.

That's what I am like in a pub etc. The problem is that Superman learns to filter it all out, which is something that we don't get to do as well.

It's a good illustration though.

"I wish he could be in my brain for one day to allow him to truly understand" THIS 100%

My wife is so supportive and is always encouraging me, but I really struggle a lot of the time.
I have a number of health conditions in addition to my [late diagnosis] ASD which include chronic mental fatigue, FND, monocular diplopia and tinnitus.

Living with all these conditions together is bloody hard going.
As supportive as she is, there is absolutely no way that she fully understand how much this is all impacting me.

So, with all that in mind, I'd say that you shouldn't feel like an @ss - being autistic can be so damn tough! Throw in a good helping of other conditions and its even worse.

Welcome.  It takes a while to bring loved ones up to speed when about our experience of Autism (I will admit; I can get pretty impatient about that process ...more telepathy required!).

This is the first book I got for my partner to read (he is not Autistic):

22 Things a Woman with Asperger's Syndrome Wants Her Partner to Know

By Rudy Simone

Publisher -  ‎Jessica Kingsley Publishers Ltd; Illustrated edition (15 Mar. 2012)

ISBN -  ‎978-1849058834

Thanks so much! I truly hate saying this but sometimes I wish he could be in my brain for one day to allow him to truly understand /: gah I feel like an @ss even saying that. 

Welcome to the site.

The following book may be of help to them:

Loving someone with Asperger's syndrome, understanding & connecting with your partner - Ariel, Cindy N (2012)
ISBN 9781608820771

For yourself, the following books may be helpful:

Very Late Diagnosis of Asperger Syndrome - Wylie, Philip_ Beardon, Luke_ Heath, Sara  (2014)
ISBN 9781849054331

Understanding Autism For Dummies - Stephen Shore, Linda G. Rastelli, Temple Grandin (2006)
ISBN 0764525476