Published on 12, July, 2020
Iv decided to do a forum on my wildlife holidays where I can tell you about my holiday rather than just sending pictures
cause iv been on lots of them this year rather than only sending photos. also proper trips il tell you about and add photos to go with it on this post aswell. cause it will be easyer and better for me but is also for holidays cause im going on lots of holidays this year and it deserves its own thread in this sense.
my first holiday I went on this year was Wales. I went to Snowdonia near the national park
we saw a lamma and a pony
with the view we got from the cottage we stayed in was of the sea
Jackdaws perched on the buildings when we watched tv we went for a walk and I got great pictures of the moutains
you could see them on the beach outline at the beach the waves I saw a literally called gray heron fly past
the waves crashed against the rocks and became fully submerged until they broke and forced its way over. my long lens saved my life by getting me up close enough to photograph the waders and I saw Great crested grebes.
back at the cottage herring gulls at Jackdaws
the next day we went to the waterfalls I saw yellow gorse.
the water level was high but not flooded. it was a adventure and the gorse made it look colourful
it was massive then we went down the mountain the next day we went to the sea again and I saw a cormerent. there was lots of bladder wrack which is a type of seaweed.
seaweed are actualy a type of algae. some can surve out the water for a certain period of time. others dont survive as well it depends on the type cause theres different types of seaweed.
this one is normaly mistake for seaweed but is actualy a type of animal instead
in July
im very used to wildlife watching in the uk and while I have been to menorca I havnt wildlife watched there cause I didnt have an interest in Wildlife then so this was my first time wildlife watching in a different country.
I allways have to wear ear defenders when i go to the air port but they had disability asistance. I had to improvise cause the person that supports me that went with me hasnt gone on holiday with me before and didnt know what to say or do with my sensory challanges at the airport. the person that was with me said she thinks il be fine but I knew cause of my autism cant deal with crowds so I said I have autism and I dont like crowds so would it be ok to go where its less busy or quiter and so she took me through. there was a point where we wernt sure if I had to take my ear defenders off at the part where you have to walk through and them see if you got metal on you so I asked the lady there if I could keep them on and she went off to ask the person behind the thing you have to walk through. I was very anxious at this point. it was time to put our items on the coveyerbelt and walk through the metal thing. The person with me for the holiday and me still didnt know so I was panicing inside and i was told to take them off by the person taking me which i was reluctant to do but the plaine lady came over and thumbed up us saying not to take them off and that i can keep them on and we went through. the flight was delayed by an hour. but it was no ones fault cause they had to help somone who couldnt walk onto the plane. so we walked and stopped every 5 minutes so people were joking about that and inpatient at the same time. eventually we got on though at last. I filmed the take off and we went over the bay of biscay on the way to Tenerife
when landing I saw mount tede from above the clouds.
the next day I saw a canarian chiffchaff
and I saw a Spanish sparrow for the first time. they were breeding at the hotel.
but one of my biggest highlights was snorkeling for the very first time
and the dolphins which i got to see for the very first time
and mount tede a active volcano with many species only found on that mountain I saw crystal on a rock
that was the last day. the next day we went on a trip but when it came to packing bags for the trip. I put my bag with the plastic bag on it ontop of my suitcase then gave it to her with the plastic bag on it but took it off and thought that she was going to put the bag in cause it didnt only have my stuff in the bag and as far as I knew the plastic bag was in the boot but at some point in the journey I wondered where the bag was and thought it might be in the boot cause i couldnt see it in the back. we checked the boot and it wasnt there.
my ear defenders got left behind which was problomatic cause the person with me wasnt willing to go back and get the ear defenders and soon we had to go to the air port. I was highly anxious and I found it diffucult getting her to understand the why it is important enough that we do have to go back anf get them we bought some silenceing headphones as an emergancy cause otherwise I wouldnt of been able to get on the plane. we went through disability asisstance. the plane was delayed by a couple of hours and we wernt able to get on until midnight. a teenager had a go in a wheelchair and a little boy was going up and down a slope behind me which i found acted as visual stimulation and made my anxiety worse. it isnt thetre fault its just cause im autistic but thanfuly things did cam down and at 12 o'clock we lined up and got on the plane and came back to the uk by 4 or 5 oclock in the morning.
peace and quiet at last. in the end it wasnt just he one other that who can also be loud and noisy also wanted a go with micro phone but have gone to bed now so now my priority is to enjoy it while it lasts cause tomarow i will have to put up with what I will now call a mega phone cause micro makes it sound micro which just doesnt fit if you ask me. im going home after the meeting though thankfuly. i wont be going to it but the lady will want to ask me the thing im anxious about answering for reasons i stated previously though and i still havnt decided what to respond causse of the aprehension of if i say no. i could say I dont want to answer but then that isnt as honest as if i answered no and i dont want to answer yes cause that wont be honest.
I never say yes at my revues cause I dont want to be dishonest. only i dont want to answer but they have to ask at every revue every year and I allways respond with the same thing
so nothing changes cause of my Anxiety about the potiential things i know could go wrong if i do say no when they ask me at my revue
my intuition keeps telling me youv been saying this for so many years now so its gone on long enough now and now its 2024 you really need to tell her so im kind of stuck.
that is what is causeing so much of my anxiety about it still and my mind wont stop talking in my head and going on at me in my head almost trying to get me to decide and trying to persuade me to say no when my social woker asks toarow as a result. i keep respding to the words in my head with anxiety but my mind wont give up until iv either been persuaded by it or made a decition on what to say tomarow its wanting me to say no but my anxiety is preventing me from doing so
when its all finaly over i dont know weather the outcome will be all the same as usual which is that they dont get an answer from me as to weather im happy with where my support is going or not and just have Mums feedback which wont reflect my actual exsperiance
its weather i say I dont want to answer cause of the reasons I said earlyer or weather I say no then risk what im anxious about
but once all that is over i can go home and i can also get away from the microphone which would probably of prohibited me from relaxing back to baseline from my anxiety should i of not gone home after the meeting but since it will of been an eventful day for me i will of course need time to process everthing
That is really bad luck about the 'mega' phone on the day before your social worker appointment. I hope that it goes ok and has the best outcome. It really does sound stressful, but I hope that you have a nice time with your family afterwards.
yea and belive it or not iv just been woken up by at 8:30. he has a loud voice anyway which is just the way he is. not ideal for someone like me with hypersensitive hearing and he has his music blaring but that is the way he is so if you merge The kareoke microphone that iv nicknamed mega phone particularly with the kareoke itself which he will also have on loud volume then Iv been cooked up a loud cocktail. I dont normaly go to the things where people sing happy Birthday but I was offered a cake which was vegetarian and that was nice of them but the Birthday present or cocktail they delilvered later om I could of done without.
I dont know what im going to do about it in genral anyway though to be honest he was loud enough without it and now its way too loud but if I ask if he or they can turn things down or keeps things down abit when its too noisy or loud and I only do it if its too noisy or loud for me cause of my hearing then I i get told off which is wrong.
so I dont know what im going to do about the microphone in the long term but it is certainly not somethong i can put up with in the long term cause I can hear it through the wall in my room even though hes one floor down.
The meeting is at 10 oclock. im not normaly ready by 10 though so I wouldnt of been able to go anyway and im very slow at getting ready so unless i need to go home or go on holiday if I have to do that then I end up haveing to get up early or getting down what takes a long time the day before so thay i can be on time the next day.
Mum and the social worker and other person that is coming fpr the meeting they are coming now ready for 10 but the meeting doesnt actual start until 10 but thanfuly im not going to it. the lady will come up after the meeting amd ask me the question that im anxious about reaponding to
but im also anxious cause I dont know what they will be talking about in relation to how much money is going to where its going and weather there will be changes and Anxious about things turning out negatively and due to certain factors that is defantly something im anxious about too so theres more than one thing that is causeing my Anxiety about the meeting
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I was defiantly very anxious. the social workers are all different so the social worker that comes to my review changes and they arnt my social worker but social workers this social worker that came today is my social worker and to save me repeating my social worker the name is Lucy. not Lucy the dog from home just to clarify. so if i use the name Lucy that is my social worker. she hasnt seen me since 2018.
I started the care i have now in late 2013. mid 2013 I not long started getting payed for care and at some point in the week during my first week where the money used to go to before i could settle in proper I went through traunatic exsperiance caused by a life threatening complication due to my rare condiition Tuberous Sclerosis. after being in hospital for a couple of months not long after going home from hospital a breack up ocured during the same time frame. around Christmas in 2013 I started here ever since late 2013 which is when i started where my money is going to its never been suitable for me. my Mum knows that im not happy with it but shes worried about the process other places in case they cant find anywhere else and worrys in case there isnt anywhere better and due to these worrys even though i have been saying i know what its like and she doesnt and that I want to leave where the support is going to for ever since 2013. I have been wanting to tell the social workers ever since but instead of saying no Iv been saying no i dont want to talk to you cause I know if I say no to the social worker what Mums atitude is like towards that and how cause she has a different point of view will twist things around.
there was a lady that used to come and see me here I told her i wasnt happy with where i am. she was the one that refered me here and so thought it was iimportant i should tell her cause she knew me and used to see me so i told her i wasnt happy here but I hadnt been here as long cause it was around 2013 2014 time frame but i knew its not a suitable place for me to live and knew things would get worse but nothing happened. now its 2024 and as i exspected from past exsperiances of places that are unsuitable for me that i havnt been happy in and have had to leave from more and more factors came up over the period i lived there and reasons why it was unsuitable it has cause i wasnt taken sireously to begin with at the start. now its 2024 and i know what i want and dont want and need and dont need from past exsperiance and my exsperiance here from where the money goes if i get the opportunity to need to look elsewhere. I did tell my support worker no in the end. to be honest i almost gave in to my anxiety and almost said no i dont want to talk but i did say no eventualy which i havnt said to any social workers over the years. its been 10 or 11 years so the money has been going to here ever since 2013 but i dont like the fact my money is being spent somewhere un suitable it needs to be spent somewhere suitable.
I was told by the social worker shes from the county council and asked me to give the reasons that im not happy here. unfortuantly iv been surpressing the reasons for so Many years now its hard to open up so im not going to blurt everything out with ease. she said do you want to go somewhere else and i said yes. she suggested telling Mum the reasons i want to leave and why where the money is going isnt suitable so that she can tell her. but im so uncomfortable with opening back up to her about it again after her atitude towards everything that i never did when i went home so I asked if i could speak to my social worker in person cause it will be easyer for me and she said ok she will try. she messaged her to ask but it will take a few days for her to respond. im needing to write all the reasons down and what will make another place better before Mum can even do anything though she said