Published on 12, July, 2020
Iv decided to do a forum on my wildlife holidays where I can tell you about my holiday rather than just sending pictures
cause iv been on lots of them this year rather than only sending photos. also proper trips il tell you about and add photos to go with it on this post aswell. cause it will be easyer and better for me but is also for holidays cause im going on lots of holidays this year and it deserves its own thread in this sense.
my first holiday I went on this year was Wales. I went to Snowdonia near the national park
we saw a lamma and a pony
with the view we got from the cottage we stayed in was of the sea
Jackdaws perched on the buildings when we watched tv we went for a walk and I got great pictures of the moutains
you could see them on the beach outline at the beach the waves I saw a literally called gray heron fly past
the waves crashed against the rocks and became fully submerged until they broke and forced its way over. my long lens saved my life by getting me up close enough to photograph the waders and I saw Great crested grebes.
back at the cottage herring gulls at Jackdaws
the next day we went to the waterfalls I saw yellow gorse.
the water level was high but not flooded. it was a adventure and the gorse made it look colourful
it was massive then we went down the mountain the next day we went to the sea again and I saw a cormerent. there was lots of bladder wrack which is a type of seaweed.
seaweed are actualy a type of algae. some can surve out the water for a certain period of time. others dont survive as well it depends on the type cause theres different types of seaweed.
this one is normaly mistake for seaweed but is actualy a type of animal instead
in July
im very used to wildlife watching in the uk and while I have been to menorca I havnt wildlife watched there cause I didnt have an interest in Wildlife then so this was my first time wildlife watching in a different country.
I allways have to wear ear defenders when i go to the air port but they had disability asistance. I had to improvise cause the person that supports me that went with me hasnt gone on holiday with me before and didnt know what to say or do with my sensory challanges at the airport. the person that was with me said she thinks il be fine but I knew cause of my autism cant deal with crowds so I said I have autism and I dont like crowds so would it be ok to go where its less busy or quiter and so she took me through. there was a point where we wernt sure if I had to take my ear defenders off at the part where you have to walk through and them see if you got metal on you so I asked the lady there if I could keep them on and she went off to ask the person behind the thing you have to walk through. I was very anxious at this point. it was time to put our items on the coveyerbelt and walk through the metal thing. The person with me for the holiday and me still didnt know so I was panicing inside and i was told to take them off by the person taking me which i was reluctant to do but the plaine lady came over and thumbed up us saying not to take them off and that i can keep them on and we went through. the flight was delayed by an hour. but it was no ones fault cause they had to help somone who couldnt walk onto the plane. so we walked and stopped every 5 minutes so people were joking about that and inpatient at the same time. eventually we got on though at last. I filmed the take off and we went over the bay of biscay on the way to Tenerife
when landing I saw mount tede from above the clouds.
the next day I saw a canarian chiffchaff
and I saw a Spanish sparrow for the first time. they were breeding at the hotel.
but one of my biggest highlights was snorkeling for the very first time
and the dolphins which i got to see for the very first time
and mount tede a active volcano with many species only found on that mountain I saw crystal on a rock
that was the last day. the next day we went on a trip but when it came to packing bags for the trip. I put my bag with the plastic bag on it ontop of my suitcase then gave it to her with the plastic bag on it but took it off and thought that she was going to put the bag in cause it didnt only have my stuff in the bag and as far as I knew the plastic bag was in the boot but at some point in the journey I wondered where the bag was and thought it might be in the boot cause i couldnt see it in the back. we checked the boot and it wasnt there.
my ear defenders got left behind which was problomatic cause the person with me wasnt willing to go back and get the ear defenders and soon we had to go to the air port. I was highly anxious and I found it diffucult getting her to understand the why it is important enough that we do have to go back anf get them we bought some silenceing headphones as an emergancy cause otherwise I wouldnt of been able to get on the plane. we went through disability asisstance. the plane was delayed by a couple of hours and we wernt able to get on until midnight. a teenager had a go in a wheelchair and a little boy was going up and down a slope behind me which i found acted as visual stimulation and made my anxiety worse. it isnt thetre fault its just cause im autistic but thanfuly things did cam down and at 12 o'clock we lined up and got on the plane and came back to the uk by 4 or 5 oclock in the morning.
You describe your inner self very well, Zo. I'm 54, autistic but don't have learning difficulties and I couldn't explain things like this as well as you do.
I guess that one of the things that I can relate to is that I can sometimes describe these things afterwards, in writing, but I can never get a description out verbally - especially at the time.
I can relate to a lot of what you wrote today. (I think a lot of us here would do to)
thanks. im actualy very similar in the sense that I find it alot easyer to exsplain thiings through words and drawings so writeing and drawings.
ammoung other things than I do actualy talking to others. on the outside im seen as being very articulate communication wise and you wouldnt think i had a social disability on the surface. i find it actualy makes the struggles i have iin communication apear invisable on the surface so it makes it very hard to spot cause of the apearance. I dont hide the struggles and there allways there its like iv been born with an outer persona without a choice in the matter that overshadows all the communication and processing side of things or other challanges i face as a result of my autism its almost like a blind that it put over. alot of it is on a mental level so no one can see so that when or if my communication struggles become more obvious they wonder why since i come across as very fluent and articulate on the surface. on the surface i come across as having very good communication skills
so when i do exspress the social struggles i have they are easily down played or not easily understood no matter how well or how hard i try to exsplain things.
in fact this is one of the things that worrys my Mum sometimes cause i have a learning disability but cause i have autism aswell as a learning disability i come across not needing exstra help since my autism makes it that i apear to have such good communication skills i easily cause doubt I have things like prossecing and communication and social diffucultys that result from my autism having social diffucultys in social interaction to the point one would wonder why i even need exstra help in the first place on the surface exspecialy with the amount of facts and the kind of things i come out with and cause im very clever and knoledgable due to my autism its the positve side and this sort of thing that Mum finds geting me exstra help for my speacial needs diffucult but i cant help it unfortunatly.
however strangers and some people do pick up on my social challanges when it comes out but cause i come across as articulate puting the two together and understanding what i say and what i exsplain is very diffuclt but they have the idea that something is up and im acting differently.
for me when i was at seconary school a speacial school for people with autism called rowdeford school I wrote my anxietys in a yellow book and then show the teacher what im anxious about or i would write storys and they commented on my writing which after reading a story about an exsperiance with a jellyfish when i was 16 at the beach in menorca they said is a gift of mine and to keep at it. feedback usualy involved my writing being very exspressive and detailed about my personal exsperiance including what i thought and how i felt and physical sensation and reaction my body had as a result amoung other things and what happened next
with things like exsperiances or exsplaining things i find it alot easyer to do it through written word than verbaly even though i can also say these things through words i find i put things alot better and even though i have all the right things in my head they just wont come out and i struggle with processing too so it means i have more time to process and say things the way i do best
my dad is my step dad both my mum and dad are english but my biological father was greek cause he used to live in cypress then moved to the uk eventualy my greek family mainly speak greek so can be hard to undertsand them but my biological Dad and other dads brother who is my uncle for me can speak some english aswell as greek. the english side can only speak english which would be my Mum and stepdad. my biological dad had had mental health probloms smoking and alcohol probloms who said he will see me again when i was 10 that mum broke up with when i was 5 before moving alot and going to different mainstream schools before settling into one when i was older the final time i saw him was when i was 10 i waited and tryed not to loose hope that i will see him again ever since. he had contacted us for years. Mum asumed he meant it since hes usualy un eliable with texting and phoning and stuff and we didnt know where he was or what he was doing. i still tryed not to loose hope but in 2014 we found out where he was. a hospital phoned Mum and told her he is in hospital and that he isnt going to be alive for long he was in his 60s but it was due to smoking. i didnt see him at hospital and we couldnt see him so I did him a letter about how old i am now and how i am doing and other things which the nurses noticed that he still had the lettet in his hand when he went so they put in in his draw and they burnt the letter whe doing the cremation he wasnt good father when he was one and didnt look after me properly and there was something wrong with him acording to Mum. but still loved me anyway this impacted me alot and belive it or not i wasnt interested inthings like genetics and family until this event and it led me to learning about my family roots and my other dad and i had things passed onto me that he liked which i aparantly also have in common. acording to Mum i take after my other dad alot. I had no idea that my other family that i saw sometimes was from greek heritage and that my english family are from english heritage so no the dad i live with isnt my biological dad but he is my step dad. my sisster is aparantly actualy my step sisster cause she isnt from the same dad and my brother is my step brother.
wilber didnt come with us this time cause hes not good with other dogs. the reason he came with us last time was cause we couldnt take the other dog. alfie likes going on holiday and is more solitary and doesnt like being with the other dogs so we take him alot
we normaly take Aphie ziggy and willow
I welled up with tears reading about your Greek dad and your letter. I think because there are similarities to my own story. My own dad went back home to the USA when I was around 3. I did see him on occasion, every few years, Based on what has been said about him and similarities that I have to him, I suspect he was autistic. He has also passed on.
im afraid i can only chat for now still rather than send photos cause the wifi is still funny so im useing mobile data.
that is interesting what you said about your Dad.
on Wednesday my Mum is having a meeting with my social worker and someone else about how much money social services give for support I have a revue every year.
so she will be dropping me off so I will be with Mum and Dad the rest of the day on Wednesday unfortunatly I dont want them to keep paying for where I get the support cause I havnt been happy about it since they started paying in 2013 and how much money is being payed to where there paying it is what the meeting is about.
but Mum doesnt like me saying this sort of thing to the social worker and so Mum puts a positive spin on it and even though i have a choice weather to go to the meeting or not the dis comfort and aprehension about what could happen if I went is overwhelming and i know they paint a conpletely different picture to the way I actualu exsperiance it as in relation to where the money for the suport is going to
I get very anxious when i see people im groups it brings on sudden anxiety that wasnt there until I see a group its usualy a group of 3 or more.
I I also dont speak to people over phones or video calls that includes my Mum so pretty much anyone really either cause i get exstremly shy and nervous amd dont talk much I also get amcious alot when it comes to phone calls so there usualy out of the question when it comes to things like social workers and what not so my Mum or someone else usualy makes phones calls or video calls for me
the money and support issue is something iv had since they started paying for me in 2013 where its being paid and weather im happy with it or not.
the thing is after they say are you happy with your support or not they normaly say and how can it improve if your not happy with it either through words or writing and what they could do but its not that sort of thing
its rather just an issue of it needing to be spent where its more suitable
I dont normaly go to meetings with Mum and my social worker so i just stay stay in my room in case she wants to ask question or I go out usualy.
I also have a thing about meetings cause I get overwhelmed after them.
and add to that I dont understand money so other people take care of the money for me so what they talk about i dont understand and also find very boring
Mum has a different point of view to me on everything so isnt much help at all during the reciews. they mean well and they try but its just not suitable for various reasons in the long term for me due to certain factors and my sensory challanges
aswell as my autism even though i have a learning disability i do have autism aswell and the thing is ome disorder gets more atention than the other so that my other needs like my autism emd up getting overlooked at the exspense of my learning disability even though its not intentional. then when it comes to my autism my learning disability gets overlooked un intentionaly.
the support they are going to be discussing is more learning disability orientated and the goal is also learning disability orientated more than autism related and not all my needs are being met equaly even though Mum belives they are.
Im getting less support for my sensory challanges than other things aswell as that peoples atotudes have become more negative since.
every year i end up learning more reasons as to why t just isnt suitable for me and im actualy happier away from where the support is being paid which unfortunatly isnt the point in them paying to where there paying it
the lady is going to want to ask if im happy with where the support is going but Iv closed up emotionaly about it to social workers and im uncomfortable telling them cause of Mums atitude to the issue.
im at the stage in life where iv had to learn the hard way what do you want vs what does your Mum want and that cause your old enough you need to make your owm decitions and be aware of the rights you have
and this is something i struggle with cause im used to people making decitions on my behalf im used to someone else making decitions on my support based on what they have observed or on my behalf
and having more power over decitions i make about my support and so feelling like no matter what decition i make about it it will ultimatly be decided by my Mum or soemone else in the end anyway instead and i dont know weather it is the right time to tell my social worker
but ultimatly even if I did say im not happy with where its being payed to then it is unlikely to change since Mum would try to provide evidamce to the contrary and persuade them and turn it into a though he says this kind of scenario
the reason being is she worrys about what would happen if I told my social worker and the whole diffucult process of fchangeing it and finding somewhere else for it to be spent so that it is payed elsewhere if it can even be found cause wev been through the whole long process before
so I dont know if I will be at the meeting or not or whatever is going to happen or what to do but eithet way I will be here in the morning at 10 and then out for the day
that is only on Wednesday though.
tomarow im hoping to sort the sports club thing out but first i need to be sure of where they stand on transgender rights rather than just jump in
with the photos for my holiday wifi isnt on at the moment but when it is i will send more pictures for the holiday