My Wildlife holidays.

cause i dont like leaving details out of storys something that i meant to add as part of the story my family did drive there.  I got dropped off and we got ready to leave when they got in the car to get the sat nav ready and Dad took forever cause his phone kept telling him the wrong amount of space on his phone and once room is made would then later tell him it is full when he hasnt added any exstra space which is the same problom i have with mine. for me though it has afected contact with my other family cause it wont install whats app due to the problom but for Dad its the sat nav and the data on it that its impacting causeing him fustration so Dad was very fustraited Mum said hers works and offered to do hers but Dad said no cause he has to do his and not hers cause he knows how to do it and kept trying to persuade him but he kept saying no cause he can only use his cause he doesnt know how it works even though Mum could help and do it instead we were sat in the car so long Mum got inpatient and said right im going to put this up here otherwise we are never going to get to the cabin by 2 and we will be late and was about to put it up  but Dad then got more fustraited and took it off then he eventualy got it working and put it up. Dad wasnt born with autism and nor has he been diagnosed however at that moment in fustration and dis belief she said in the middle of shaking her head and sighing you have autism and so  made it sound like autism is a negative thing even though it isnt  

I have heard Mum say things like your a little autistic to my brother or pretty much anybody including things like your a little ocd and i know that some neurotypicals can use terms related to disabilitys in ways that  can be misleading so im ususaly  very quick to  bring them up on it as i do if they  says things that I know to be are un acurate or misleading and it has been used for real in correctly on lots of ocasions which is why I do that so I  do have to put up with people in the house useing mis leading terms sometimes 

so I was very quick to bring her up on it when she said that  so I asked Mum why she said hes autistic and she said cause hes narrow minded and he cant think for himself he allways needs me to prompt him amoung other things and didnt say any traits she considers a  positive aswell as. 

 I told her that haveing similar traits to autism like other disorders it doesnt nesacerilly mean you are born with it but  doesnt mean arnt born with it either anyone can be narrow minded amoung other traits that  you may or may not interpret, think  or view to be similar to autism

but she calls him all sorts of things including narsisistic theres no fixed name it can be absoloutly anything at all and there usualy all a wide  variety of names and terms related to those some that can be ofensive if put a certain way  but has also called him names not associated with disabilitys aswell though

shes not the only one that does this though and cause autism amoung others  do have  stigma attached  and phrases that can be used in a  misleading way   atached It does get my atention since she has a tendancy to do this and makes me very uncomfortable she doesnt undertsand how certain terms that can apear seemingly harmless can actualy turn out to  be steriotypes or even misleading terms so i try to get her to understand it she doesnt use them all the time though thankfuly.  that was a big bother before setting off but the rest of the drive evrything was fine. 

the drive took a couple of hours as previously but we did stop at service stations. ziggy was with me in the back  cause him and Alphie dont like being next to each other. auto correct corrected me and said bag but anyway I normaly see wildlife at service stations so i sometimes use my camara but we mainly stayed in the car. I was mainly eating or on my laptop or something I usualy have stuff to do on the journey as soon as we arived Mum told me it is on the water and that made me curious. we went inside and put our stuff down and i imedietly when outside and looked at the pond. 

now later I put my memory card in my laptop and guess what happend a bird apeared or a duck this happened every day in a very timely way as if they knew when i was going to put my memory card in my laptop so i literaly kept having to take it out, take pictures and put it back in. I did get a breack at one point and succesfuly transfer the photos from that day though.

I also went for a walk with the dogs and then went somewhere else but that is in the next part 

It is good that you are educating your family about correct use of terms and how sometimes they can be hurtful if always negative. Is he your biological father? I think your mum was just frustrated be she knew a way to solve the problem and she was worried about the time. It was probably difficult for her too.

Memory on phone and cards can be such a pain when it's running out. I'm glad that the sat nav eventually worked and that you got there. Many years ago when I used to use a proper camera (an early digital one), I had so many memory cards because they couldn't hold as much.

What a surprise to be on the water! Did you get a picture that shows how your accommodation was positioned? I can't picture it in my mind.

I knew that your family had other dogs. Was Wilbur not with you this time?

yes I dont know when she will understand though or if she ever will or not cause iv been doing that for more than a few years now. unfortunatly she doesnt have autism support  groups or any other  autistic people like me to help her understand things just me. ever since i was younger shes allways only ever reached. out to people who are parents of people that arnt born with autism. the only parent she ever knew that had someone with autism she used to keep in touch with was a parent of someone called Rickie but she only spoke to the parents while i went off with there son. he had aspergers but also a speech disorder and behavior probloms. its the behavior problom bit there parents struggled with mainly. for me I dont have behavior probloms but due to my autism and learning disability Mum used to have probloms with me in shops or public places cause I got anxious or overwhelmed and I would either go quiet and not respond or the anxiety and my raiseing my voice un intentionaly and un awarely  in atempts to try and be understood due to whats causeing my anxiety and i struggle with exspressing my feellings in a way they can be understood when it comes to my autism and given i was only a child and i wasnt told i have autism until i was 10 i was very comfused and even after i was told the struggles remained and didnt get better if anything the struggle me and my family have when my autism came into play actualy  got worse as i got older rather than better particularly when i was in my mid to late teens but no one really helped not even my secondary school and college that was for people with autism and disabilitys. 

when at school  i would struggle and the anxietys from school would be brought over to my home life where any anxietys i had were like adding anxietys from both school and homelife were being added one ontop of the other. at school i had assembaly,  weather to work in class or outside of it, certain lessons i didnt know would be noisy the ones i got overwhelmed in were music and dance or parachuting amoung other school stresses so the sensory and other challanges of both were like building a sanswhich.

at home the main challanges  was doing certain things as a family coming across noisy restraunts without knowing they were noisy until visited or not knowing if a place is noisy or not until we get there. also a problom with other public settings. , crowded places,  changes, or undertsanding certain things  etc being diffucult cause of my autism caused her to incorrectly label it as a tantrum cause she doesnt know the right term and so would treat it as such i therefore got punishments and consequences for these autistic behaviors sometimes due to her losing her patiance  even though i didnt understand and wasnt naughty she also gets really stressed cause even though I usualy talk normaly I dont understand whats apropriate and whats not in a public place. if im talking about a special interest I may suddenly raise my voice and have no control over it and regulating my voice bringing it down a level can be close to impossible for me at times I  find it diffucult to lower it exsoecialy while simulataneously trying to focus on the priority of what im communicating and what they are at the same tome.

Mum often doesnt make me aware if iv acidently raised my voice but when she remebers she does even if Mum tells me to keep my voice down though theres the challange of regulation and  it can take a long time to regulate to a certain level they deem aproriate for the present place and situation and i dont allways understand either so she easily looses her cool with it and labels it things due to fustration. 

 I dont like raising my voice and am quiet a quiet person so i dont raise my voice on purpose nor am I usualy aware when and if i ever do cause it feells normal given how i feell or how i think andso when struggling to regulate my voice when my autism comes in  is eassily taken the wrong way in certain contexts. she knows that it is part of my autism and even told me and exsplained it to me when i was younger that its  part of my autism which is why it happens cause i didnt used to understand it and my research on autism has also supported the fact that it can be part of autism.  

 i could be happy or exited or any emotion at all but exspecialy when im passionate or trying to get a point across or feell strongly itd exspecialy diffucult,  ontop of that i sometimes use the in correct tone to how im actualy feelling also i might be say just passionate but cause i have allways had a naturaly deep voice and iv found it became deeper when i was a teenager  it comes out as if im angry and im unable to change my tone if i speak and comes out depper cause thats just the way i am and with a raised voice im not aware of along with it but then theres regulation cause its part of my autism.  it gets taken as an arguement or as something negative. then getting them to understand your not is notoriously diffucult and can be like talking to a brick wall. not that i have spoken to a brick wall but you know what i mean.  when im anxious my tone can also be in correct so my tone of voice doesnt allways congruent with the emotion im feelling in the moment  sometimes and my exspression doesnt allways match my tone of voice  either but i dont have any control over if or when that ocurs either and even i dont know then my body language isnt allways congruent either My Mum uses my apaerance to support her asumption of how im feelling along with the tone of voice im useing even though none of it is congruent with what i think and  how i feell inside. My Mum sometimes gets my autism and learning disability mixed up cause i have both and they both come into play so i sometimes have to remind her what is my autism and what is not its not just terms that come out due to frustraition that i have to bring them up on at times. 

 an interesting thing about my autism that can cause people to mis interpret and how i speak and act is also that it might be a certain facial exspression and  body language iv llearned from a favourate character that iv learned to  associate with a particular emotion from my childhood and teenage years or even recently  due to not understanding what it means  regardless of weather it is or not for instance cause i copy my favourate characters how they speak and what they say and there body language and implement it into sociial interaction i have offline when im with people but it happens on a sub concious level. this is also part of my autism its a way of naviagtiing life and social interactions with others. 

all these things are part of the way i am. when it comes to raising voices if  I raise my voice or sound a particular way or look a particular way and how i respond to her or anything that she likes to call challnageing to deal with she gets advice for these things from the in correct people which means she doesnt know how to deal with me when it comes to these things and so when she reaches a certain point she  turns  to people who dont know how to deal with autism like my aunty or uncle who has children who are non autistic or advice from Rickies parents that punish him for his behavior challanges who she is no longer in contact with. 

i think its mainly the fact she didnt have the right people to go to advice or the right people to educate her  is partialy why she still has certain ways of thinking that are not acurate about autism and only draws on old infomation or uses terms that could be misleading.  

the memory card was ok  and convenient its phones that can be an issue. 

to answer your question il tell you abit more about my family when i come back cause i need to o out quickly but i have both an english and greek family. 

yes I dont know when she will understand though or if she ever will or not cause iv been doing that for more than a few years now. unfortunatly she doesnt have autism support  groups or any other  autistic people like me to help her understand things just me. ever since i was younger shes allways only ever reached. out to people who are parents of people that arnt born with autism. the only parent she ever knew that had someone with autism she used to keep in touch with was a parent of someone called Rickie but she only spoke to the parents while i went off with there son. he had aspergers but also a speech disorder and behavior probloms. its the behavior problom bit there parents struggled with mainly. for me I dont have behavior probloms but due to my autism and learning disability Mum used to have probloms with me in shops or public places cause I got anxious or overwhelmed and I would either go quiet and not respond or the anxiety and my raiseing my voice un intentionaly and un awarely  in atempts to try and be understood due to whats causeing my anxiety and i struggle with exspressing my feellings in a way they can be understood when it comes to my autism and given i was only a child and i wasnt told i have autism until i was 10 i was very comfused and even after i was told the struggles remained and didnt get better if anything the struggle me and my family have when my autism came into play actualy  got worse as i got older rather than better particularly when i was in my mid to late teens but no one really helped not even my secondary school and college that was for people with autism and disabilitys. 

when at school  i would struggle and the anxietys from school would be brought over to my home life where any anxietys i had were like adding anxietys from both school and homelife were being added one ontop of the other. at school i had assembaly,  weather to work in class or outside of it, certain lessons i didnt know would be noisy the ones i got overwhelmed in were music and dance or parachuting amoung other school stresses so the sensory and other challanges of both were like building a sanswhich.

at home the main challanges  was doing certain things as a family coming across noisy restraunts without knowing they were noisy until visited or not knowing if a place is noisy or not until we get there. also a problom with other public settings. , crowded places,  changes, or undertsanding certain things  etc being diffucult cause of my autism caused her to incorrectly label it as a tantrum cause she doesnt know the right term and so would treat it as such i therefore got punishments and consequences for these autistic behaviors sometimes due to her losing her patiance  even though i didnt understand and wasnt naughty she also gets really stressed cause even though I usualy talk normaly I dont understand whats apropriate and whats not in a public place. if im talking about a special interest I may suddenly raise my voice and have no control over it and regulating my voice bringing it down a level can be close to impossible for me at times I  find it diffucult to lower it exsoecialy while simulataneously trying to focus on the priority of what im communicating and what they are at the same tome.

Mum often doesnt make me aware if iv acidently raised my voice but when she remebers she does even if Mum tells me to keep my voice down though theres the challange of regulation and  it can take a long time to regulate to a certain level they deem aproriate for the present place and situation and i dont allways understand either so she easily looses her cool with it and labels it things due to fustration. 

 I dont like raising my voice and am quiet a quiet person so i dont raise my voice on purpose nor am I usualy aware when and if i ever do cause it feells normal given how i feell or how i think andso when struggling to regulate my voice when my autism comes in  is eassily taken the wrong way in certain contexts. she knows that it is part of my autism and even told me and exsplained it to me when i was younger that its  part of my autism which is why it happens cause i didnt used to understand it and my research on autism has also supported the fact that it can be part of autism.  

 i could be happy or exited or any emotion at all but exspecialy when im passionate or trying to get a point across or feell strongly itd exspecialy diffucult,  ontop of that i sometimes use the in correct tone to how im actualy feelling also i might be say just passionate but cause i have allways had a naturaly deep voice and iv found it became deeper when i was a teenager  it comes out as if im angry and im unable to change my tone if i speak and comes out depper cause thats just the way i am and with a raised voice im not aware of along with it but then theres regulation cause its part of my autism.  it gets taken as an arguement or as something negative. then getting them to understand your not is notoriously diffucult and can be like talking to a brick wall. not that i have spoken to a brick wall but you know what i mean.  when im anxious my tone can also be in correct so my tone of voice doesnt allways congruent with the emotion im feelling in the moment  sometimes and my exspression doesnt allways match my tone of voice  either but i dont have any control over if or when that ocurs either and even i dont know then my body language isnt allways congruent either My Mum uses my apaerance to support her asumption of how im feelling along with the tone of voice im useing even though none of it is congruent with what i think and  how i feell inside. My Mum sometimes gets my autism and learning disability mixed up cause i have both and they both come into play so i sometimes have to remind her what is my autism and what is not its not just terms that come out due to frustraition that i have to bring them up on at times. 

 an interesting thing about my autism that can cause people to mis interpret and how i speak and act is also that it might be a certain facial exspression and  body language iv llearned from a favourate character that iv learned to  associate with a particular emotion from my childhood and teenage years or even recently  due to not understanding what it means  regardless of weather it is or not for instance cause i copy my favourate characters how they speak and what they say and there body language and implement it into sociial interaction i have offline when im with people but it happens on a sub concious level. this is also part of my autism its a way of naviagtiing life and social interactions with others. 

all these things are part of the way i am. when it comes to raising voices if  I raise my voice or sound a particular way or look a particular way and how i respond to her or anything that she likes to call challnageing to deal with she gets advice for these things from the in correct people which means she doesnt know how to deal with me when it comes to these things and so when she reaches a certain point she  turns  to people who dont know how to deal with autism like my aunty or uncle who has children who are non autistic or advice from Rickies parents that punish him for his behavior challanges who she is no longer in contact with. 

i think its mainly the fact she didnt have the right people to go to advice or the right people to educate her  is partialy why she still has certain ways of thinking that are not acurate about autism and only draws on old infomation or uses terms that could be misleading.  

the memory card was ok  and convenient its phones that can be an issue. 

to answer your question il tell you abit more about my family when i come back cause i need to o out quickly but i have both an english and greek family.