My Wildlife holidays.

Im not going to see Mum today. Dad has got a fever. she texted me yesterday evening but my phone and laptop awkwardly didnt alert me to her message when it normaly does and I was preocupied so I didnt see it and have only just found out this morning she said she will let me know on Monday or Tuesday or whenever shes better next week. I did say illness has a habit of cropping up out of nowhere at in convenient times and disrupting routine.

regardless of westher its a cold, infection, or something else. trust it to be the day before I go home.

I find when you have a illness or something else people around you either in the house you live in orout and about  else  tend to say things oh its this or that you will be fine or something along those lines  but when you have autism it does makes things like  illnesess and even things like injurys and other things like that more complicated. for me  mental health probloms like Anxiety and depression run in the family.

not just Amxiety or Depression either for instance but disorders like bipolar. a couple of years ago  one of my cousions had bipolar and depression for instance before  what  im not going to say in order to respect the fact people could find it upseting otherwise.

for me  I take mood tablets for my depression. iv been taking them since 2013 for me so has improved. for me even without autism i probably would of got an anxiety disorder in some form anyway but my autism imcreased the liklihood even firther and easy to under estimate the fact when you are born with autism or/and anxiety or other mental health issues it can makes other factors diffucult even things that apear trivial to others.  thankfuly as far as I know Mum doesnt have any mental health issues. my dad i dont know though. Mum  thinks he does but he hasnt been diagnosed with any disorders or anything as far as I know.

cause of my autism it makes change hard to cope with particularly when it comes to seeing my Mum and Dad cause I struggle from being away from them for more than a week but hopefuly the flue my Dad has will get better. Mum says the reason I havnt gone home is cause she doesnt want me catching his flu just before we go on holiday 

but when I do see her next week I will be sending it here this is the one for non holiday trips i go on with my family 

https://community.autism.org.uk/f/adults-on-the-autistic-spectrum/38827/trip-i-went-on-yesterday-and-other-trips-not-day-trips

I will be doing the holiday one for this thread though  either today or next week 

That is really disappointing for you, but I hope that it means that your holiday still happens.

What do you do at weekends when you do not get to see your family?

sorry just got called for lunch so I had to go but im back. it probably will do as long as Dad  is  better next week which hopefuly he will be. 

I dont have any clubs or anything so other than going out somewhere I usualy Just do my hobbies in my room or the living room but I spend more time in my room than the living room 

clubs are very diffucult cause of having to work around the schedule in the house and the others in the house and I wont go out with them only with one of the people that takes me out but working around the schedule is still an issue. 

I found a athletics  club and we asked for a membership but they havnt got back for 2 months and they still havnt even though they were asked again. 

so I dont isualy have much luck with clubs. and theres things like crowds and noise and me being transgenderr identifying as male wont want to be on a fenale team. but they had to put down my biological sex rather than gender as a requirement as part of the member ship 

then theres journalism and media literacy that iv got into that im hoping to do a course on but theres been complications and itd been delayed 

i used to do taekwando as secondary school and was a white belt and like kung fu so was thinking of doing shoalin kung fu 

Wildlife culbs havnt been very succesful cause of times 

and then theres other clubs i moght like but there are  interests that are still developing and even when I try to get into clubs they dont usualy work out due to many factors 

so im mainly doing my honbies. 

sorry just got called for lunch so I had to go but im back. it probably will do as long as Dad  is  better next week which hopefuly he will be. 

I dont have any clubs or anything so other than going out somewhere I usualy Just do my hobbies in my room or the living room but I spend more time in my room than the living room 

clubs are very diffucult cause of having to work around the schedule in the house and the others in the house and I wont go out with them only with one of the people that takes me out but working around the schedule is still an issue. 

I found a athletics  club and we asked for a membership but they havnt got back for 2 months and they still havnt even though they were asked again. 

so I dont isualy have much luck with clubs. and theres things like crowds and noise and me being transgenderr identifying as male wont want to be on a fenale team. but they had to put down my biological sex rather than gender as a requirement as part of the member ship 

then theres journalism and media literacy that iv got into that im hoping to do a course on but theres been complications and itd been delayed 

i used to do taekwando as secondary school and was a white belt and like kung fu so was thinking of doing shoalin kung fu 

Wildlife culbs havnt been very succesful cause of times 

and then theres other clubs i moght like but there are  interests that are still developing and even when I try to get into clubs they dont usualy work out due to many factors 

so im mainly doing my honbies. 

it is in fact one of the things the documentary is well known for is the fact its documentary epesodes on certain real life mysterys from a variety of subjects but exspecialy in relation to mysterys as a crime theme like missing persons and what not has in fact actualy  helped solve proper real life mysterys of those its about either from someone seeing it and recognising the person or filing in missing infomation that was essential to solving it. 

im not having much luck with clubs and if i do do competiitions after training for them or do any competions in martial arts from traing in that or anything else aswell as that then I will need to come up with soloutions for the potential for sensory overload either noise wise or crowd wise. i also tend to get left out of teams for some reason and tend to run into communication issues between me and them. iv had the same with family members when they have family gatherings so  its not jsut groups at clubs either.  I tend to get ignored easily cause im the quiet one or cause im fixated on what there not interested in talking about. or they dont want to talk to me but others instead. I dont know why it happens. It tends to be less of a problom with people who are younger than me and more of a problom with people the same age or older.

Im usualy at a different developmental stage cause of my learning disability or there less interested or not interested if i ever go to a club people are usualy at stages  i havnt reached yet and when thats the case there only interested in being friendly to those who look or act  there age and dont look or act behind.

suposed to of reached the same dvelopmental stage as them since im the same physical age as them or older so it disapoints them when they discover im not and find it embarrasing being around me since i dont act like them and therfore  dont want anthing to do with me. its  usualy  cause i look younger and  tend to act younger than my physical age cause im slower developmentaly and things they understand i wouldnt cause of both my autism and learning disability either socially or sensory wise  or developmentaly 

cause of my disability its like  my mind is slower than usual and so never seems to keeps up with whats exspected of people my age developmentaly as i get older or just doesnt seem to keep up with everyone else  so grows at a rate younger than my actual age and is allways behind. its usually  younger than my physical age. others around my physical age or older are usualy ahead of me in terms of development even though its the same age range or older they also usualy understand the things i wouldnt due to my disabilitys and its cause of that people usualy have excuses to under estimate or make un fair comments i normaly from other people my age who understand certain things better than me due to my disability  tend to get comments like if i use my brother as a good  example things like  my brother gave when he was younger than me due to being  older developmentaly saying im stupid cause i dont understand something everyone knows it at my age or useing words like the r word or complain about say my understanding of literal language or certain aspects of social communication that i wouldnt understand due to my autism also sometimes or sometimes can also  get  treated  unfairly in some way cause they understand better or more than i do social rules or things people my age have normaly learned.  i havnt had the best exsperiances in teams who are the same age or older. 

iv had a few ocassions where people who are one year younger than me or a few years younger have already  living in a house on there own amoung other things you name it so are there before me and no longer interested  what i am or what i like to do anymore but in most cases its usualy people the same age or older in groups 

usualy people in the same group as me are more mature developmentaly even  though im around the same age  with focus on things im not at yet  learning how to drive,  knowing how to pay your own bills you liveing  in a house on your own and taking care of finances and knowing how much money things add up to and weather its exspensive for an item or not amoung  other things

  people in those same age groups in teams at clubs  usualy  like to refer to there probloms compared to me as (adult) probloms cause there grown up. it doesnt escape them im behind them either emotionally or developmentally if im around there age or older and they normaly  like to say there more mature than me cause there older than me developmentaly and me having a disability is usualy used as an excuse by them for things normaly usualy to why i cant do stuff that theres no reason that i cant do for any reason and therefore doesnt mean i should be left out of  even though i have a disability and things like that 

alot of neurotypical people around my age or older also think i can do less than i actualy can when they either ffind out i have a learning disability as a team or pick up on it one way or another

but also it can go the oposite way and asume i can do more than i actualy can. since they notice its mild or  moderate and not severe 

alot of the time it can make people focus on the negative more rather  than what strengths that my learning disability could have that they  could potentialy take advantage of to help  train and win and help to work together as a team

and sometimes it can even make people over protective same for my Autism but my autism with hypersensitive hearing and crowds not everyone in a group nesacerily understands either even though the autistic challange of my hearing being over sensitive to any noise  can be turned into a stength that could be used to work together for instance

on the other hand at the same time it can also help the team support you better and it isnt impossible to take part weather you have autism or not as long as you know what your going to do and how to deal with it that is how i would have to go about the probloms abouve are also inetable no matter what club i go to but its just another one of the challanges of being autistic and having a learning disability that afects you in groups not just outside of them so thats just something i need to keep in mind. at the moment i havnt even managed to join a club yet and theres a very high liklihood it wont work out but even if it doesnt i will probably continue working towards my goals anyway but im hoping even though theres only a exstremely slim chance partivularly with the athletics that i will be able to. 

the athletics club was sent a membership for me to join but they  havnt got back for about a month and have already been chased up and still nothing back aswell, but while iv been waiting iv been working on my other goal that i have aswell so iv been learning about media literacy and journalism and how to be a journalist. im particularly interested in the fact checking side of it but i also like the reporting side aswell and have done free courses on it by certain news room websites i trust to an exstent and am hoping to now do a introductery course by nctj national traning for journalists. only after doing all the modules il be ready for the next step which you can do either at a place like school or college thats acredited by them or do it online but i first need a certain grade in GCSE in either maths and literature or English which i havnt done before to get into a university in Cheltenham that trains you up for being a journalist and that also prepears you for a job in it if you wanted on so would also be an opportunity to open me up to a job should i decide i want to get a job in the future one day. 

im thinking of doing the holiday very soon iv been thinking either this evening or tomarow

Those type of unsolved mysteries sound good too!

any mysterys in fact i have some books on mysterys- real life ones both solved and ones called unsolved mysterys aswell. it covers a variety of topics but im not as interested in the ufo side of things and not as much the paranormal stuff as other topics like  events that develop into a mystery that people end up having to solve but it doesnt have to be crime related i do like crime related ones alot aswell though but im exspecialy interested in ones that (havnt) been solved yet. I like that people can help solve the mystery themselfs aspect of it cause it hasnt been solved yet. the unsolved mysterys i was talking about though is a documentary called unsolved mysterys it documents real life cases with real people that try to help solve mysterys through the makings of  the documentary. you get to watch real life cases in a variety of topics not just crime and if the real people involved in the real life mystery ever get the mystery  solved or doesnt the netflix documentary gives you an update on weather its been solved or not and what happened after the documentary was made 

I like that you have a clear idea of what you want to do in sports. I hope that you get to compete in something one day.

When I was younger, I used to really like unsolved mysteries too. Do you mean things like UFO/Bigfoot, or things like unsolved crimes? I was really into UFOs and things like that. I am not so much these days. Close Encounters of the Third Kind (1977) is still one of my all time favourite films. It is not too scary. I would recommend it.

There are some good documentaries on Netflix. I really like "Inside The Mind of a Dog". I do like wildlife and stuff, but dogs will always be my favourites.

as for the netfix and stuff Mum and Dad have alot more channels than I do. so I do like a couple of other channels aswell. there are some things on BBC that i like but i dont like just watching any documentarys it has to be related to a special interest. the ones i most commonly watch are David Attenbourgh or mystery and geography or history related documentarys same with netflx. I like all sorts of history so it doesnt just surround around one theme but im most interested in ones with mystery and discovery and what they knew then and what they know now. some other documentarys i like with mystery in is un solved mysterys.

even though I do like archery and im good at  it its not something I would enjoy doing at this present time  as much as things like martial arts and athletics. once i got my mind set on something its hard for people to change my mind when i have.

 i dont tend to do sports  solo unless practcing and with (non) solo sports i usualy prefer playing against one other person. alot of examples of sports i like one is archery but im also good at tennis basketball, swing ball, bat and ball, snooker or pool, martial arts, im also good at athletics as examples 

i won a medal in  athletics at schooll since i went to an athletics club and there was a competion. I  likes races and things like that and theres lots of other athletic things available at the club it is also inclusive for people with disabilitys. however theres nothing about gender identity and  i have discovered they split people into male and female teams. you can do it solo but encourage you to join teams and being up against one or two people at least would be more suitable. I dont have any friends to see not even ones who are transgender like me or autistic so i just see family and if i did solo sport i wouldnt have the oportunity for making friends. 

 I have a goal l for athletics and  im a fast runner and im hoping to take part in a competition. cause my goal is to take part in the athletics competiiton the athletics competition is very well known and they take part in competitions all over the uk. 

i usualy have  a goal that im determined to reach and my goals stay in my mind for years and practice to hone the skills that i have  until i can  fufil it.   i still have plenty from childhood so I dont give up on mygoals easy   im not really as keen on solo sport for me. im more. for me  it usualy involves at least one other person but i will train solo and find that easyer that non solo.

even though  people should have a choise who they want to be with if they are transgender  for me I wouldnt decide not to do something and give up on something i want to do just cause of that  but in line with my identity i wouldnt want to put myself out to the public and mis lead people into asuming my gender identity and biological sex are congruent and that there one and the same by being portrayed as something that isnt who i am and not part of my identity. at the same time which creates a dilema.

but I also  like to have alot of time to myself to do my hobbies though otherwise i get overwhelmed 

Or solo stuff, like archery?

There are some good documentaries on Netflix. I really like "Inside The Mind of a Dog". I do like wildlife and stuff, but dogs will always be my favourites.

I do have netfix just not on the tv so Iv watched netflix documentarys and I have dvds I can watch aswell. 

I dont know.  alot of  sports is abit iffy about biological sex and gender identity still. there can be exceptions but mainly alot of sport is based on the idea that you must play as the biological sex asigned at Birth regardless of weather you identify as it or not cause they organise people into male groups and female groups. you will see this alot in competitions . as an example of one sport even though its not athletics like mine is in mixed martial arts for instance your someone  whos biological sex is female but identifys as exsperiances life as a male in order to take part you need to be on testosterone and it needs to be a certain level. 

for things like sport  Athletics being one type of sport and not just with traing but  particularly when it comes to competitions  people tend to be split into male and female groups which to a transgender person who identifys as male or female is like puting you into a box and saying unless you pretend your identity is in the right body you cant participate. obviously they. have there reasons but its not good for people like me who doesnt exactly comfirm to societys standards on bilogical sex and gender cause of being transgender 

It's tough being autistic when you want to do something that involves other people, but then there are crowds and noise.

That's great about the martial arts back when you were in school.

There maybe sports where gender doesn't matter so much. I don't know what though.

Do you have streaming TV services (Netflix or Disney+)?