Is it okay to feel this way?

Have you considered that a 'miraculously normalised' you, would not be you? Many autistic people would like their more distressing traits, for example heightened anxiety, neutralised or blunted, but would like to keep their good traits, for example joy in very focused interests, and therefore retain their autistic identity.

I suppose. I’m just due to start a new job next week. Full of anxiety and sure it’ll be obvious miles off that I’m not normal. I work in healthcare where there are lives on the line. I need to look capable and I can’t even make eye-contact.

Good luck.

Good luck.