Published on 12, July, 2020
I spent a decade in the mental health system being misdiagnosed with a mental health condition that I never had. I spent 7 of those years straight inpatient. I got correctly diagnosed as autistic at the age of 27. I have spent a decade telling everyone around me the truth and constantly being told I’m lying and/or how I am experiencing the world is not possible (they hadn’t realised that I was autistic so they just thought I was crazy). It has been an incredibly traumatic decade and I cannot even repeat the things that have been said to me. I now understandably have a real phobia of anyone who works in any healthcare - mental or physical as a result of the trauma I have experienced. This is fine for now as my mental health is in a really good place since being correctly diagnosed with autism and I actively do not want anything to do with any mental health team (and they know it). But I worry how moving forward in my future, this is going to be a barrier in accessing help for my physical health. I have a huge list of neurological problems post covid. And I fear if I develop any health problem in the future 1) I am going to be avoiding going to the doctor as much as I can and 2) even if they see me, I am petrified of how they will treat me. Usually I end up feeling mentally worse than when I went in.
Can anyone else relate? I feel so alone in my experiences.
I was told i have depression, anxiety and Tourette and that I exaggerate, just for attention, treated generally bad. Now I need a psychologist and I’m being told by others around me that I need help, but I’m also afraid especially if the mental health professionals. The psychiatrist who misdiagnosed me with Tourette almost killed me with the awful medicine. Nobody wanted to listen when I cried that i can’t live like that. Only recently I heard that I’m most probably an aspie. But even this was a negative experience, because the therapist said that now it’s trendy, everyone gets diagnosed with autism or adhd. And she gaslit me a lot, she clearly didn’t understand my problems. And I don’t find my problems funny or trendy at all.