Published on 12, July, 2020
What do you do when somebody says they don't know what autism , is and thinks its just some stupid made-up categorization , and you just need to WORK ON YOURSELF, you know, be more MOTIVATED, and you can CHANGE. You could of course, explain that it's genetic, a neurological condition, like tourrettes for e.g. But to the NT world it seems, in their eyes, you're just BEING AWKWARD AND LAZY. It's pretty much unanimous In NT world. Its your fault you have CRAP SOCIAL SKILLS. And when you point out that instincts, and disposition are different, again, you're just making excuses AND NOT TRYING HARD ENOUGH. totally invalidating your point. IS THIS GASLIGHTING?
What I'm saying is, i expect to be misunderstood. But it's very demoralizing, when you explains you have 'ASD' (or just plain autism)' and they give the the WHUH? FACE
Gasighting is more malicious and planned, what you describe is more simple ignorance.
The truth is it's an NT world, and WE are the fricking minority.
In simple terms, it's less overall human effort for the minority to make more effort to accomodate the needs of the majority, than it is to do it the other way around.
I have certain characteristics, and do certain acts that make me a less than respectable person in the eyes of some other people. Autism is one of them, and Dope smoking is another. I personally believe that I should be given a fee pass form both of these things in an ideal world BUT in the real world it simply does not work like that.
I therefore need to hide these things from strangers, to the maximum extent that does not involve dishonesty, and be sufficienlty "valuable" that by the time these "defects" are discovered, people get to make a real choice of my overall value, rather than discount me at initial contact.(which some will anyway).
The worst symptom of my Autism is the the moment I become overwhelemed and cannot hlde a conversation, it happens fast and can result in a complete loss of my shi7, BUT I have tools...
Tool 1. The swift exit. Cluching ones lower abdomen and saying "Excuse me" will literally allow one to run away from an incipient public meltdown. I've more often used "I'm needing to go and smoke, can I have fiev minutes?" but there are so many, many ways to get a break from a place or situations, and often it's all I need to perform a personal reset.
Tool 2. The poker face. No matter what deliberately upsetting guff I got in the work place, I could keep my face straight. Same with confusion, but if I could see myself getting exposed despite the poker face, then whilst I always have the "Sharp exit" tactic available, there's also..
Tool 3. .. The "subroutines" also known as games, or transactions. Other humans have small "set pieces" that they engage in either randomly or at the behest of a manipulative person. I collected as many as I could, particularly the ones that make people happier, and whilst the "set piece" is unfolding, the game playing out, however you choose to see or play it, I've got a bit of time, may only be seconds, might be hours, to get my act together. Read the book I recommend in my bio for decent training in this regard.
Lestat said: Its your fault you have CRAP SOCIAL SKILLS. And when you point out that instincts, and disposition are different, again, you're just making excuses AND NOT TRYING HARD ENOUGH.
What I just said was perilously close to that, BUT, I do offer tools that I can personally attest to be very useful when it comes to avoiding "normie oppression".
Is it worth making all that effort to manage yourself and your situations? Oh goodness, yes it is!
I'm not lonely, unloved, and bored of life.
And I definitely was headed that way, until I decided to "bolt on" a little of the skills and charisma that life hadn't bestowed on me naturally. But as my dad used to say to me, adn it's clear that applies here as well, "You can lead a horse to water, but you can't make him drink"
I'm telling you as straight as I can, humans are basically fairly simple and easy to manipulate, a fact very well known to psychopaths, advertising agencies, the film industry, the police, to name just a few. The technciques and basic theory is fairly easy to understand, and why not gain and use the knowledge and techniques to make everyone's experience a little nicer?
YOU gotta spend your life doing something,.. Might as well practice fiting in to their society. (At least until youve raised an autistic army of sufficient pusissance to crush the normies once and for all into eternal servitude for those of us who will enjoy it, and I bet even catwoman will like the idea of being able to call in a hunky Normie to fix her leaking tap, and he'll haev to do it and do a good job too, or face the consequences!!
Don't let the last semi humourous paragraph invalidate the usefullness of the preceding screed...
The only thing I have that a lot of you haven't have not, is a lot of "luck" both good and bad that has led me to learning the stuff I needed to have a better life than endless aggravation with the normies. If I can share that "luck" it takes nothing from me.
I'm not "bragging". I'm not very happy generally, or as self satisfied as I might appear. I've just fudn solutions to some problems that have reduced the visible bad effects of my Autism to a very acceptable level for the normies. I still "suffer", but they suffer less by way of "collateral damage" and my practicing general "niceness" and having a lot of "workarounds" to reduce the effect of my "way of being" on them, which in my case also invloves careful use of cannabis, and the application of basic Christian moral principles when I feel conflicted, as well as psychological trickery and manipulation.
I see "getting by without conflcit or aggravation" as a skill that can be acquired and practcied like any other challenging hobby.
Hope that helps someone here.
"Love is like a magic penny, hold it tight, you won't get any." (as sung by a young child on the Gary Clail track "magic penny") is such a piece of "lucky enlightenment" that came my way...
I feel I do fairly well, if in a good mood, the right state to deal with normies. Yeah, it was just ignorance, but NT's love to test your 'boundaries ' or 'toy with people, and I hate that. Theres always something not straightforward transpiring, ive got to read between lies, deduce, and i interpret things negatively many times.
My patience breaks down eventually. i can perform the little rituals, but i dont like to small talk and play the social games, i cant pretend that i care, if not motivated. I'm difficult, evasive, and people just clash. for example i got into bit of a staredown contest with somebody yesterday, some macho posturing bs, cause i was sarcastic with him, cause i felt he was interrogating me. I know its aggressive to stare, but i didnt care. i kind of get dragged into these things, periodically, cause i dont wanna adapt. and if i take an issue with somebody, things can escalate to awkward levels. but i can be very polite and complimentary when necessary. shake hands, fake smiles, forced enthusiasm and normalcy.I just hate it. I hate the whole NT world. And i'm stubborn. you might say ive got a chip on my shoulder, in fact many, they grow like tumours. ITS NOT A TOOMAH.Also, i'm self destructive, i dont really care what happens to myself. And it shows.
I also go off on tangents. And i dont feel like i should have to change, to accommodate some bs social etiquette rules. its all propaganda, mind control anyway.
There, I'm calmed down now, this thread is just venting.