Published on 12, July, 2020
hello, recently received suggestion that I am neurodivergent from consultant psychiatrist.This came as quite a surprise late in life [66 yo] but looking back on the last 6 decades it makes a lot of sense of a lifetime of social and professional difficulties as well as a thinking style which analyses and rehearses everything that comes out of my mouth until it sounds like an excerpt from a badly scripted film.As you may have noticed it also seems to give me a writing style of long and wordy sentences ! [sorry].
The lifetime of pressure of neither myself nor anyone else understanding my behaviour and the negative self evaluation that went with this misapprehension eventually led to a suicide attempt, which, while very sad, led to the psychiatric evaluation and diagnosis.I'm still New to all this and trying to understand a lifetime of experiences in a new way seems bit bewildering but I'm sure we'll get there in the end
Any suggestion of online resources or useful books for old white guys in my position would be welcome
thanks
Hello and welcome. I'm sorry to hear that you have struggled so much. I felt suicidal three years ago, and this led to me realising I'm autistic (after months of reading about autism and watching autism YouTube videos - I have since been officially diagnosed). I still struggle with post-diagnosis grief - meaning that I mourn the life I could have had if I had known I was autistic much earlier.
Hopefully, the knowledge you have now will allow you more time and space to be your authentic self. As my autistic friend Paul says: 'You're important too.'
Keep talking and sharing here.