Published on 12, July, 2020
During my autism assessment, the psychiatrist said that although my autism affects many aspects of my life, I was still able to communicate to her well and therefore only had it “mild”. I understand that I have low support needs and that other autistic people have different or more extreme struggles and need more support, but I was masking a lot in the assessment in order to answer the questions as clearly as possible, which completely exhausted me and impacted how I felt over the next couple of days. As Keedie said in the TV show “A kind of spark”, her autism only seems mild because ‘we make it so, at a great personal cost’. Autism has a huge impact on my life, even if no one else can see it, and especially if I’m purposefully changing my behaviour to fit in or adapt to other people. Just because it seems mild to you doesn’t mean it actually is to me. I feel like this is why the terms “high functioning” and “low functioning” are being used less in favour of “support needs” which I feel is more accurate and less diminishing of autistic people’s struggles. I’d be interested to know other people’s opinions too as I know some people don’t mind the word “mild”!
Aimée said: I was masking a lot in the assessment in order to answer the questions as clearly as possible
Ironic that you were intentionally being as unautistic as possible in order to have your autism assessed.
Not a trick question but do you think this was self sabotage? Did you want to not be seen as autistic?
Sometimes it is subconcious and you may want to appear capable and in control or maybe autism holds a stigma.
I'm genuinely curious as this is something I have seen quite a few times and would like to understand the processes behind it to help others prepare effectively for their assessments and be seen without the masking that we feel we need to use
All the terminology around the diagnosis is a bit of an issue still - there are plenty of people who find some terms offensive or triggering and some want to keep old terminology (eg Aspergers) - it is all a bit of a mess still.
Yes you see I get a lot of stupid treatment because in a lot of ways my life is successful and the powers that be think there is nothing wrong what is my problem.My problem is I cannot keep with everyday life and the fact that people do not understand Autism.
It is this stereotypical view that someone who is Autistic looks different and has less ability.In fact we are the super powers
Similarly to Mark, I am not answering for Aimée. However, Aimée has already answered your question, within the very sentence that you quoted.
I, too, had to focus extremely hard during my assessment in order to ensure that I conveyed all of the factual information that I felt was relevant. The combined effort of preparing for and having my assessment left me feeling similarly exhausted.
Perhaps you're unaware of how your question and comments might come across, being more focused on structuring an analytical question borne out of your curiosity. But, if I were in Aimée's shoes, I would find them insensitive, disrespectful, critical, patronising, and upsetting.
Psychiatrists who carry out autism assessments have the experience and training required to recognise and see through our masking efforts - aided by the very information that Aimée, I, and I'm sure others need to work so hard to provide them with during our assessments.
As I was assured by the specialist nurse in the run up to my own assessment, we don't need to unmask for these psychiatrists. Nor is it realistic to expect that from autistic people during such a stressful situation - even for those who may already understand what masking is and in which ways they might typically do it.
I feel that a more compassionate approach is warranted towards new members who are also only recently diagnosed.
I'm not answering for Aimée, but i know what she (or they? Please tell us) means. For me it is not something that I can actually switch off. When getting assessed one probably has probably not even known about masking for long. I first heard the term this year. I can't just de-mask - I think it's going to be something that falls away brick by brick.