Getting my autistic son to communicate his feelings

I am reaching out for some help and advice for my 10yr old son. 

My son has really good verbal and communication skills, but it’s clear he struggles to discuss his emotions with myself and his mum. 
We have noticed that the other kids at school see him as different and as such end up either excluding him or bullying him. He sometimes gets upset by this, other times shrugs it off as all he wants to do is feel included and part of the peer group (we’ve seen some of this on text between others and sometimes at parties or football where we obviously have a keen eye on what’s going on).

We haven’t discussed his ASD with him yet and nor do his peers understand this, but it hurts to see that he won’t discuss what goes on and we are stuck with what to do worrying that the lother it goes on the harder it will be to get him to talk about those feelings. 

Any advice is welcomed.

thanks 

Parents
  • Hello

    My son struggled to communicate his anxieties and feelings with us or anyone really. I mentioned this in a thread last night so I apologise if anyone else here has already read it. My son attends weekly therapy sessions at an equine centre. His therapist specialises in neurodivergent children. He has never been able to make sense of why he feels “sad” as he puts it but he does communicate quite well now. I don’t pressure him to talk and just ask if he wants to talk about it, very often he will say no and I just remind him that he can come to me anytime he wants. The therapy has been very helpful for him and he is even just starting to talk to the teachers about how he feels now. If he does feel sad and he can be quite desperate sometimes I also find distraction works well, this usually involves us playing Lego, doing crafty stuff, building a den or looking at pictures of a nice holiday or a good day out. We too have not told him about him being autistic yet as he hasn’t had his assessment yet. This is 2 months away. I do plan on telling him before the assessment but with no labels, just as simple as possible and letting him know he thinks differently and he is unique and perfect. 

    Also keep a diary, it really does help to go back and see what works, what doesn’t and any patterns of behaviour.

    1. I wish you the best of luck 
Reply
  • Hello

    My son struggled to communicate his anxieties and feelings with us or anyone really. I mentioned this in a thread last night so I apologise if anyone else here has already read it. My son attends weekly therapy sessions at an equine centre. His therapist specialises in neurodivergent children. He has never been able to make sense of why he feels “sad” as he puts it but he does communicate quite well now. I don’t pressure him to talk and just ask if he wants to talk about it, very often he will say no and I just remind him that he can come to me anytime he wants. The therapy has been very helpful for him and he is even just starting to talk to the teachers about how he feels now. If he does feel sad and he can be quite desperate sometimes I also find distraction works well, this usually involves us playing Lego, doing crafty stuff, building a den or looking at pictures of a nice holiday or a good day out. We too have not told him about him being autistic yet as he hasn’t had his assessment yet. This is 2 months away. I do plan on telling him before the assessment but with no labels, just as simple as possible and letting him know he thinks differently and he is unique and perfect. 

    Also keep a diary, it really does help to go back and see what works, what doesn’t and any patterns of behaviour.

    1. I wish you the best of luck 
Children
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