Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi fellow men. PS (ladies you can chime in if you wish to add anything too) open to all.
I wanted to get a bit of understanding from the men out there. What do you think about being a man with autism? Is it hard? What support do you get? What do you struggle with? For example aggression, anger management, exclusion, social isolation etc.
What do you wish people understood more about being a man? What is being a man to you? What values create a man?
I personally have certain values I will list here:
- treat women with respect and kindness. I believe women deserve to be treated with respect. I always hold doors open for women and let women go first on the bus etc. Just common decency to me but just little things that make me me.
- doing what I believe to be right. I try and follow my heart and do what I know or feel is the right thing to do in the moment.
- patience. Being patient and taking my time with things. Not rushing into the first thing that comes my way but rather instead taking my time and letting things take they’re natural order.
- no tolerance for drugs. Having the inner strength to say no to drugs and being willing to set those boundaries with those I meet through my everyday travels.
- self control. Having the ability to control my self and not act on the first impulse that I feel. Having the self control to stop myself from making daft decisions (ties into next point below).
- maturity. Having wisdom in years and experience to set an example to younger folks of how to treat others and be in the world.
So yeh this was just some ideas, just a fun topic nothing serious. Feel free to share your own values and experiences of being a man.
I've always slightly envied women the option of wearing make up. If I have to "scrub up" for some kind of event there's not really much I can do, but at work events, weddings etc I see women turning up looking absolutely amazing, including women who normally, to be blunt, don't look amazing. There's nothing I can do as a man to glam myself up like that. I wish there was. If only the 1980s new romantics had managed to make that mainstream!
The other thing that men understand only too well, but I think an awful lot of women don't, is the absolute terror men experience because of the expectation that we have to approach women, we have to be the one that does the chatting up. In my case there was only so many times I could try that before the pain of rejection became overwhelming and disabling.
If only people could see us for the people we are, the way we come across in places like this
As a gay man I don’t feel the need to be “alpha male” or “macho man” (boring lol) and because I have two drag names, I have turned up to some events in full drag given the opportunity
I get it. I was never worried about talking to boys and suggesting meeting up if I thought I might like them but they seemed a bit shy, as I knew they found it difficult. After a few years it resulted in a relationship which became long term.
However, I was never bound by any rules of relationships that neurotypical girls seem to have, like waiting to be asked out and for the boy to call them first. For me, a relationship is an equal thing, a friendship that grows from an interest in each other, gradually blossoming into something deeper.
I think the way that "romantic" relationships are supposed to work are so cliched,. Love at first sight doesn't exist, only attraction, and the elaborate proposal thing, where it's done in public? Yuck! Not to mention the waste of money stag & hen weekends and the incredible amount of money spent on weddings & honeymoons. After all those performances, no wonder people get divorced - they probably don't even really know the person they're marrying!
"Romance" for me is someone buying you something when it's not expected, just because they love you and want to see your face light up with happiness. It's writing someone a private, heartfelt letter. It's walking hand in hand through a beautiful place together, or sharing a favourite meal, or curling up on the sofa watching TV. I really wish other people could get this.