Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi fellow men. PS (ladies you can chime in if you wish to add anything too) open to all.
I wanted to get a bit of understanding from the men out there. What do you think about being a man with autism? Is it hard? What support do you get? What do you struggle with? For example aggression, anger management, exclusion, social isolation etc.
What do you wish people understood more about being a man? What is being a man to you? What values create a man?
I personally have certain values I will list here:
- treat women with respect and kindness. I believe women deserve to be treated with respect. I always hold doors open for women and let women go first on the bus etc. Just common decency to me but just little things that make me me.
- doing what I believe to be right. I try and follow my heart and do what I know or feel is the right thing to do in the moment.
- patience. Being patient and taking my time with things. Not rushing into the first thing that comes my way but rather instead taking my time and letting things take they’re natural order.
- no tolerance for drugs. Having the inner strength to say no to drugs and being willing to set those boundaries with those I meet through my everyday travels.
- self control. Having the ability to control my self and not act on the first impulse that I feel. Having the self control to stop myself from making daft decisions (ties into next point below).
- maturity. Having wisdom in years and experience to set an example to younger folks of how to treat others and be in the world.
So yeh this was just some ideas, just a fun topic nothing serious. Feel free to share your own values and experiences of being a man.
Caelus said:a neurotypical man will likely display more signs of social anxiety than a so called autistic woman.
I think men suffer more in society because other males (especially kids but also lots of adults) pick on those who stand out or who don't really fit in. There is also an impact from our interaction with females where we are aften rejected for being weird or creepy - standing out is basically making us a target.
It is this oddly predatorial behaviour that seems common amongst symians (ie monkeys, apes and humans) unlike most of the rest of the animal kindgom where the female is most typically dominant.
Maybe I misunderstand your approach to female autists here, but my understanding is that their brains have the same early childhood development issue that causes autism in males, so the society influence is not really relevant to whether they are autistic or not.
Societys attitude towards women tends to lead to them being able to mask and blend in more effectively than males, but there is no cause/effect to autism itself.
As a female I would like to add here, that what I observed- yes, many girls and women have socialising easier, but! Only if they are attractive! If a woman is not attractive physically, in addition behaves weird (weird according to NTs) - then she also gets rejected, laughed at, bullied, abused etc. I have a long history of such experience.