Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi fellow men. PS (ladies you can chime in if you wish to add anything too) open to all.
I wanted to get a bit of understanding from the men out there. What do you think about being a man with autism? Is it hard? What support do you get? What do you struggle with? For example aggression, anger management, exclusion, social isolation etc.
What do you wish people understood more about being a man? What is being a man to you? What values create a man?
I personally have certain values I will list here:
- treat women with respect and kindness. I believe women deserve to be treated with respect. I always hold doors open for women and let women go first on the bus etc. Just common decency to me but just little things that make me me.
- doing what I believe to be right. I try and follow my heart and do what I know or feel is the right thing to do in the moment.
- patience. Being patient and taking my time with things. Not rushing into the first thing that comes my way but rather instead taking my time and letting things take they’re natural order.
- no tolerance for drugs. Having the inner strength to say no to drugs and being willing to set those boundaries with those I meet through my everyday travels.
- self control. Having the ability to control my self and not act on the first impulse that I feel. Having the self control to stop myself from making daft decisions (ties into next point below).
- maturity. Having wisdom in years and experience to set an example to younger folks of how to treat others and be in the world.
So yeh this was just some ideas, just a fun topic nothing serious. Feel free to share your own values and experiences of being a man.
Right obviously it’s just me I try to post a nice thing on here. And all I get is negativity. There really is something wrong with autistic people because whenever I’m around them they twist everything I say and turn it into a negative just like everything else. From now on I won’t be posting on here. I have better things to do than play mind games. And some people say autism isn’t a sickness or illness how about asking me what I think. Because all the posts on here have been making it into a bad thing that I respect and care about women. How can you make that into a bad thing? Some guy even tried to argue with me because he wants to get stoned and I have zero issues with it? WTF? Has everyone forgot to take they’re pills this morning or what?
I’m sorry I regret replying to your post, although I like it. I didn’t mean to offend you or be negative.
Sorry mate. I don't know how I managed to mess up my bit so badly from your perspective, but I was on side and thought this thread started really well and good natured.
For the record, your essential good nature does come though in the nature of your O/P. I asked you for clrification about what you originally described as intolerance and found instead of intolerance a very reasoned, balanced and nuanced understanding of the issues, and was trying to commuincte that when "the niceness" broke.
I genuinely don't know what went wrong, I like and respect your point of view, and hope you can see that at soem point. YOU did nothing wrong, (I'm not actually sure that I did) but sometimes we might see conflict where none is in fact being offered?
You are not spiteful and taunting in your posts ever, so you are entitled to expect me to be straightforward with you even if we find grounds to disagree.
Autism leads to confusion & misunderstanding sometimes, we know that.
It's a shame this post got a bit lost and confused. I thought it was interesting to see something intended to provoke thoughts about how men's lives are impacted by autism, as there are often discussions about how women are affected.
I personally think it's nice and polite when a man opens a door for me or lets me get on the bus first, but maybe that's a generational thing? I don't feel underpowered by it.
I think that men deal better with controlling their emotions, but women can learn better communication - but I feel that this is true for both autistic and neurotypical men and women.
However I don't see much other difference between autistic men and women. When I've posted on here, many of the replies stating that people think, feel or experience things the same way as me are from men. I share interests with autistic men that are not usually what neurotypical women like. I think that autistic men are generally less competitive or worried about status than their neurotypical counterparts and more thoughtful, but that could also be applied to women. And all of us have problems with social interaction and communication, that neurotypical people don't tend to have.