Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi. I’m curious how many of us with autism work or study. I was terrible at school, couldn’t cope at all and was eventually taught at home. I’ve been attempting to integrate in the workplace for the last two years, I currently volunteer every now and then, there is the potential of paid work with this business in the end but it all relies on whether I can stabalise going in to volunteer/work. Generally I go in for a day or two and then I am hit by a wave of fatigue. I suppose it’s a result of anxiety, bordering on the line of burnout because it’s the worst fatigue I’ve ever had. I become so tired I feel dizzy and can hardly stand and then I need to rest and I literally can’t function for days after…
Rest and bed is required but whilst I’m like this I’m unable to properly work and it’s really frustrating, especially as the people I volunteer with have confirmed I could have a work position with them in the end. I tried seeking professional help but that was a dead end route.
Currently I just volunteer every now and then. I would love to do more but I physically and mentally cannot sustain this.
I do a lot at home, mostly hobby projects like writing and working on classic cars but because of this I am unemployed and somewhat reliant on my parents. They support me and help me with my daily struggles but they are older now, and not in the best of health, so it does concern me as to what will happen to me if anything were to happen to them. Though I try not to think about that too much.
I am curious how many here work or volunteer and study? I’ve tried but I can’t seem to nail it.
I’m sorry you’re finding it difficult to do your volunteering. This is something I completely relate with and can understand as I’ve experienced similar. I’ve volunteered and done a little work in a shop but I was unable to keep it sustained, the effects it had on my mental health were severely damaging and for now I find I’m unable to work. Just leaving the house takes it out of me. Don’t beat yourself up over it. It’s unfortunate but it isn’t your fault and one day maybe you’ll be in a better position within yourself and you’re be able to volunteer with no problems and land yourself that career. Just go slow, at your own comfortable pace with as little pressure as possible. I find the more pressure I put on myself the more it doesn’t work out and breaks me. Now I go with the flow and do what’s best for me, hence I’m not trying to work at the moment. I’m sure that day will come again. But for now, I need to rest up and get back on level ground.
I spend all my time at home, only really going out IF I need to. Like going to the doctors yesterday and I did at least get through it with no meltdowns etc but I’m today feeling tired and drained with aches all through my body. The norm for me unfortunately. At home I immerse myself in my interests and hobbies. Sitting and doing nothing leads to my brain getting carried away with thoughts and anxieties so I have to be doing something otherwise I’ll get overwhelmed by the anxiety. This morning I’m doing some painting as I listen to some of my Now That’s What I Call Music cds. I’m not an artist, not even a good painter lol but painting is something I really enjoy and I’m hoping with some time, practice and dedication to the hobby I’ll become a half okay or even good painter. If not, well, at least I have fun. That’s how I spend my days at the moment I just do the things I love. I try to be productive if I can but it doesn’t always happen but I always make sure I do something. I’ll occasionally go for a walk-I live in the mountains so there’s always a nice peaceful walk to be had and I almost never see anyone when I’m out walking.
Studying is something I like to do but not proper studying. Just fun hobby-like studying. I love learning and if school had been a quieter more ASD-friendly environment I probably would’ve had a much more enjoyable time. I’ve been out of school for about 3 years now and it’s still the stuff of nightmares for me-the trauma it caused me I still haven’t recovered from but I still love to learn new things and thanks to things like Youtube I can spend as much or as little time I like studying and learning from the comfort of my own home. At the moment I’m trying to learn to paint. Not very easy but I love being creative and I’m hoping I’ll get better.
Maybe you could look in to doing something similar Matthew? Being creative and immersing yourself in the things you love will make your life more enjoyable and make the days more bearable as you get better and recover from the past. Working on your writing and classic cars sounds lovely. Try not to focus on the negative stuff that’s happened. Focus on the here and now, don’t worry about tomorrow. I live for today and so far that’s helped me a lot.
Take care.