To be diagnosed or not diagnosed

JPell said:

I am worried about the stigma I may encounter from health professionals and really other people in general if I go for a diagnosis.

This stigma is unfortunately a real thing for many still, but it is slowly passing as the younger generation of professionals are getting educated and the older ones are being slated for their prejudces.

My advice would be to get the assessment. If you are confirmed as autistic and receive poor treatment from professionals after this for their lack of understanding then take the fight to them - make a complaint about their prejudice and lack of professional knowledge and it will force them to educate themselves for fear of any future complaints.

If you are testing borderline on the tests then you may have to accept there is a chance you do not meet the threshold to be awarded the diagnosis. The diagnosis only means you are impacted severely enough to be classified as disabled.

You are almost certainly neurodivergent based on the traits you mention so whatever the outcome it is worth educating yourself on the nature of neurodivergence and start learning approaches to dealing with ways to lessen the impact of your traits.

This site is a great place to do that - use the search button (the magnifying glass on the top right of the screen) to search for previous posts then assimilate that info and ask your own questions here.

JPell said:

I'm pretty sure the trainer thinks I'm crazy.

Most of us are to a degree - I'm proud of my own brand of crazy.

I find your response really helpful. I’m not seeking diagnosis exactly for this reason. I’m afraid of social services taking children away from autistic parents. In case if I get diagnosed and the German Jugendamt gets informed about it, they may start hovering over my family. I cope, I work, cook, clean etc. and spend time with my family but they still may find a reason to take our daughter away. That would be deeply traumatic for all my family. But I also have other thoughts. What if in the future (when my daughter grows up) I decide to seek a diagnosis, and it turns out I don’t get it. That would mean, that all the explanation I found and accepted as the cause of my struggles since my early childhood, is gone. That there would be no explanation and I would keep wondering what’s wrong with me then. It would bring me back to the starting point. I’m afraid of this. For me I think it’s currently better to stay self diagnosed with just the feedback from both psychiatrist and therapist that I’m almost certainly autistic. I hit high in all the tests I made. Also for me currently if I had a diagnosis it would be just a confirmation. I don’t need any financial support or substantial support in my daily tasks. There are things that I can’t do because they overwhelm me such as car driving but it’s not a problem because we have public transport and many people use it for various reasons. I found coping strategies for various situations and I’m happy that I don’t have to constantly rely on someone. Explanation and knowledge are currently enough for me to manage my life in a way that it’s less stressful and more bearable for me and it helps me accept, improve and like myself 

I find your response really helpful. I’m not seeking diagnosis exactly for this reason. I’m afraid of social services taking children away from autistic parents. In case if I get diagnosed and the German Jugendamt gets informed about it, they may start hovering over my family. I cope, I work, cook, clean etc. and spend time with my family but they still may find a reason to take our daughter away. That would be deeply traumatic for all my family. But I also have other thoughts. What if in the future (when my daughter grows up) I decide to seek a diagnosis, and it turns out I don’t get it. That would mean, that all the explanation I found and accepted as the cause of my struggles since my early childhood, is gone. That there would be no explanation and I would keep wondering what’s wrong with me then. It would bring me back to the starting point. I’m afraid of this. For me I think it’s currently better to stay self diagnosed with just the feedback from both psychiatrist and therapist that I’m almost certainly autistic. I hit high in all the tests I made. Also for me currently if I had a diagnosis it would be just a confirmation. I don’t need any financial support or substantial support in my daily tasks. There are things that I can’t do because they overwhelm me such as car driving but it’s not a problem because we have public transport and many people use it for various reasons. I found coping strategies for various situations and I’m happy that I don’t have to constantly rely on someone. Explanation and knowledge are currently enough for me to manage my life in a way that it’s less stressful and more bearable for me and it helps me accept, improve and like myself