Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, Well after two and a half years my name has come to the top of the list for an NHS autism assessment at an adult assessment unit. I am 56 years old.
After wanting this for so long it is now causing me quite a lot of anxiety and imposter syndrome.
An email arrived yesterday asking for an adult informant who has known me since a child. The only person is my mother who is 77 years old, our relationship has been quite turbulent over the years, some of my childhood was spent living with relatives when my mother was ‘sectioned’ on quite a few occasions. Obviously that’s not her fault in any way.
My mothers understanding of autism is quite limited, I’ve tried to explain how every autistic person is different. I get comments off, “ you can hold a conversation, I’ve seen you.” I’ve spoken with my wife and she feels and I do that she will tell the assessor that I was quite normal and nothing to see here. School reports just say that I was quiet. I just don’t know which way to go, the email does say that the assessment can be carried out without an informant, I suppose I’m feeling guilt in case she does have something to say but then again I don’t want my assessment scuppered, I didn’t have delayed speech or walking. It wasn’t until I started school that I knew I was different. Any advice would be appreciated.
Hi Roy
I feel the same, I am looking to seek assessment in the future and I’m trying to build my own profile.
It really shouldn’t matter as to weather you get your diagnosis or not but I totally get why your worried as I do because it’s some sort of self validation.
I have spoken to my mum with whom I have a great relationship with about my issues but she seems to avoid/ignore it. I asked if she could at least write down anything that stood out for her when I was growing up, all she said was I was an anxious child who cried a lot. I don’t think having her involved in the assessment process would help me any tbh. I don’t hold that against her of course as she probably feels guilty for not recognising my traits. Maybe she feels she has had enough to cope with from my father’s aneurism and stroke 2 years ago and it’s too much for her to think about….. who knows.
I would be interested to see how it goes for you Roy if your ok to share your experience when it happens and I wish you luck in your discovery.
Thank you for your reply, I think parents see it as an attack on their parenting skills. I learnt from an early age to not make a fuss, meltdowns would have been treated as bad behaviour. Most parents have one of their parents telling them how discipline and punishment should be metered out. They often miss the bigger picture. You are right, it’s just validation I’m looking for.