Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi, Well after two and a half years my name has come to the top of the list for an NHS autism assessment at an adult assessment unit. I am 56 years old.
After wanting this for so long it is now causing me quite a lot of anxiety and imposter syndrome.
An email arrived yesterday asking for an adult informant who has known me since a child. The only person is my mother who is 77 years old, our relationship has been quite turbulent over the years, some of my childhood was spent living with relatives when my mother was ‘sectioned’ on quite a few occasions. Obviously that’s not her fault in any way.
My mothers understanding of autism is quite limited, I’ve tried to explain how every autistic person is different. I get comments off, “ you can hold a conversation, I’ve seen you.” I’ve spoken with my wife and she feels and I do that she will tell the assessor that I was quite normal and nothing to see here. School reports just say that I was quiet. I just don’t know which way to go, the email does say that the assessment can be carried out without an informant, I suppose I’m feeling guilt in case she does have something to say but then again I don’t want my assessment scuppered, I didn’t have delayed speech or walking. It wasn’t until I started school that I knew I was different. Any advice would be appreciated.
Regardless of the outcome diagnosis or not won't change you as a person but it will give an insight as to why you excel in areas others don't and struggle where others do.
It is a scary thought process in the build up to an assessment I can remember my thoughts were - what if I am autistic/or not, what will a diagnosis do other than label me etc.
What I can say is it gives you a better understanding of yourself.
I still have the same struggles/troubles after the diagnosis just I better understand why I do. It doesn't change who you are.
On a lighter note I have managed to hold a job down for 22 years and just recently started a new career which I am very much enjoying.
I'm a very determined individual and I try my best to not let anything get in my way. Just keep battling through life .
Anyway best of luck with your assessment and I hope you get the answers you've been looking for.