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Assessment with or without parental involvement.

Roy
1 month ago

Hi, Well after two and a half years my name has come to the top of the list for an NHS autism assessment at an adult assessment unit. I am 56 years old.

After wanting this for so long it is now causing me quite a lot of anxiety and imposter syndrome.

An email arrived yesterday asking for an adult informant who has known me since a child. The only person is my mother who is 77 years old, our relationship has been quite turbulent over the years, some of my childhood was spent living with relatives when my mother was ‘sectioned’ on quite a few occasions. Obviously that’s not her fault in any way.

My mothers understanding of autism is quite limited, I’ve tried to explain how every autistic person is different. I get comments off, “ you can hold a conversation, I’ve seen you.” I’ve spoken with my wife and she feels and I do that she will tell the assessor that I was quite normal and nothing to see here. School reports just say that I was quiet. 
I just don’t know which way to go, the email does say that the assessment can be carried out without an informant, I suppose I’m feeling guilt in case she does have something to say but then again I don’t want my assessment scuppered, I didn’t have delayed speech or walking. It wasn’t until I started school that I knew I was different. Any advice would be appreciated.

Parents
  • 1 month ago
    Roy said:
    I just don’t know which way to go, the email does say that the assessment can be carried out without an informant, I suppose I’m feeling guilt in case she does have something to say but then again I don’t want my assessment scuppered, I didn’t have delayed speech or walking

    If I were in your shoes I'd be doing it without your mother Roy.

    Both my parents had passed away when I had my assessment and I did  it without involvement of anyone.

    I wouldn't have trusted my mother to have even understood the questions or remembered me as a child, not because of dementia but just because that is how she was (along with many other mental struggles).

    Similar with my sister.

    I also think that people who don't understand autism in the modern way could prejudice a positive diagnosis.

    I'm glad you are able to go ahead with this at last.

    Roy said:
    I didn’t have delayed speech or walking.

    I don't believe I did either, but I did stutter.

    I also have a very good memory of being a child, going back to being a baby, so I was able to recount how I was/felt.

    All the very best.

  • 1 month ago in reply to Debbie

    Thanks Debbie, strangely I also had a stutter, if nervous it still tries to return. I remember one of your previous posts, I would often have to go to the front of the class and spit out the paper I was eating. I never knew it was autism related.

Reply
  • 1 month ago in reply to Debbie

    Thanks Debbie, strangely I also had a stutter, if nervous it still tries to return. I remember one of your previous posts, I would often have to go to the front of the class and spit out the paper I was eating. I never knew it was autism related.

Children
  • 1 month ago in reply to Roy
    Roy said:
    I would often have to go to the front of the class and spit out the paper I was eating

    Pica.

    I didn't mention that at my assessment as I didn't know it was a 'thing'.

    I thought all children ate everything in front of them whether it was food or not!

    Lol.