Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi I am worried about a good friend of mine at the moment she has gained a lot of weight and it is starting to affect her health. She used to be the same size as me and I’m not overweight but I’m not skinny either and I do keep myself fit and active. I saw her on Saturday and I hardly recognised her. We went for lunch and she ordered a burger and chips. She can hardly walk and can’t keep up with me when she used to be able to. I am worried that she is going to have a heart attack or something if she doesn’t start to lose weight. We are both on the spectrum and I really don’t know how to bring the subject up. I don’t want to cause upset or an argument. As you guys know I have shown some erotic behaviour on here regarding my other friend which I am trying to change. Any advice on how to approach my friend and her health would be greatly appreciated.
Rach91 said:She said her parents have raised concerns and she is going to join slimming world and wants to exercise more
You could be a better friend and help her by suggesting going on long walks together regularly to get exercise and talk - it will bring you closer and you may even get to find what was causing her to comfort eat in the first place.
Plan routes to really explore your area and build your knowledge of it - get her into taking photos when you are out so you can post these on Instagram or whatever social media you use and show all the sights to see near where you live.
As you get fitter, catch a bus/train to nearby towns and repeat the process to build your presence as a local tourist advocate.
Just a suggestion.
Well done. A friend in need and you showed you’re a friend indeed.
So glad to hear that Rach. You did really well.
Hi just an update I had a chat with my friend it was really hard but she took it extremely well. She said her parents have raised concerns and she is going to join slimming world and wants to exercise more. She was really chill and relaxed about it wasn’t hurt or offended or anything. In fact she really appreciated my concern so I’m relieved about this.
Over eating and particularly feel-good foods might be a comforting thing for your friend to do. Maybe she is really struggling with some issues at the moment and food is a coping mechanism for her. She’s eating a lot because she is struggling a lot.
Perhaps ask her some questions other than about her weight: about her life, her work, her friends and try to discover the problem area rather than openly talk about her food intake. That’s probably just a symptom of a deeper problem. Find that and you might be better able to help her.
My friend is 37 years old and I don’t see her very often and when I try to get her to keep up with me she tells me to slow down.
How old is your friend? There's a government campaign for over 40s to have a blood pressure check. I go for a walk sometimes fast pace or walking up the stairs quickly. During adverts I try to march on the spot. Approach the subject lightly. I find portion sizes are massive now.
My acquaintance memory is getting worse now (she had a brain tumor aged 12; now she's in her 40s); kept on having ideas for a home gym and her support worker said no.
Keep on seeing adverts about weight loss before the watershed time (watershed is after 9pm); also avoid magazines. I had Avoidant restrictive food intake disorder during lock down. Some made me gag like anything. Now I am feeling OK.
Hope this helps you.