I've just resigned from yet another job. Any advice would be gratefully received.

I'm in my mid-50s and have been on an NHS waiting list for an autism assessment for about two years. I've struggled with depression and anxiety for more than two decades and take medication. I've just resigned from yet another job following a sequence of events which, although familiar, is one I haven't been able to stop. The sequence runs something like this:

  1. I secure a job and feel very excited and enthusiastic about it, particularly in the early stages.
  2. I manage my workload reasonably well but don't cope well with too many tasks at once, especially when there's pressure over competing deadlines.
  3. I tend to think about work when I'm not at work, and the headspace it occupies begins to increase.
  4. There's a gradual build-up of mental pressure which I find challenging and which begins to overload my emotions.
  5. Although I find aspects of the work very challenging, it's the emotional side - working and collaborating with others - that I find especially difficult.
  6. I find it particularly hard to accept criticism of certain parts of my work, especially those that require a lot of effort, and often seem to have difficulties with one colleague that become almost obsessional.
  7. The emotional pressure continues to build and I might have a mini-blowout over a particular issue.
  8. My anxiety over my job builds to such an extent that I can think of nothing else and find it impossible to deal with.
  9. I feel my only option is to resign and remove myself from the situation as fast as I can.
  10. I lose my job and have to start all over again. 

Looking back, this sequence of events has now happened up to eight times in my life. Once, I ended up in hospital. It was after one of these sequences that it was suggested to me that I might be autistic. I don't know if there's anything in this and would be very interested if any readers have any thoughts or reflections. I'd also be particularly grateful to receive any advice on how I might be able to stop the sequence from happening again. Thank you very much for reading - and warmest good wishes.

  • Hi BrokenBiscuits, Thank you very much for reading and replying. I really do appreciate your help. All the best, I.

  • There is an alternative route that you could go down for assessment, which is through NHS Right To Choose. When waiting times are long, you have the right to choose an alternative provider, as long as they have a contract with your Care Partnership.

    Below are links on how to access an assessment through MIND Professionals through Right to Choose.

    If you read the information, fill in the attached template letter and questionnaire and take it all to your GP, he can refer you through Right to Choose directly to MIND Professionals. At the moment their waiting times are not very long, you would need to call them to confirm but I think around 2-3 months

    https://docs.google.com/document/d/1WQzF7WlaNK1rhZf49rqv4vVD0383h5pO/edit?usp=sharing&ouid=106866502195916410189&rtpof=true&sd=true

    This is the route I took aged 45 to get my assessment, should there be some problem with me sharing these documents on this site, please let me know and I'll take them down.  The original files were presented to me from the Matthews Hub in Hull

    Support service for autistic people, 13 and over | Autism Support Service | Matthews Hub

  • Hi NAS92798, Thank you very much for reading and for your help. The podcast sounds very interesting and I'll definitely have a listen. Thanks again - and best wishes, I

  • Thank you, Autisician! I'm grateful to you. All the best, I

  • This struck a chord with me too.  Others have mentioned the potential of Autistic Burnout potentially worth some consideration.  Earlier this week, I was listening to an Australian podcast - from a collection produced as The Neurodivergent Woman - "Autistic Burnout".  It is quite long (I recall about 1 hour 24 minutes) so I listened to it in sections across differernt days.  It is hosted by clinical psychologist Monique Mitchelson and clinical neuropsychologist Michelle Livock (one is neurodivergent and the other is neurotypical - and they are a refreshingly fun pair - not at all stuffy in the way they cover pretty important topics).  "...what is burnout in general, the difference between optimal and peak performance, what is Autistic Burnout and what are the signs, what causes and what exacerbates Autistic Burnout, preventative and recovery strategies, and what burnout can signal to us.". 

    I cannot remember where I first discovered their podcasts - but I have been finding them useful (but enjoyable too).  I may not have have originally found them via Spotify - but this link might be of use:

    https://open.spotify.com/episode/6fLSDTW0LZ59IkrAJxV6WC?si=aouBpoqTQE2xJM0q17TbEA 

    Maybe you might also find some out their points helpful, if all else, I think they are an easy to listen to podcast delivery style.

  • No problem, best wishes to you. :-) 

  • I also used IATP after my GP referred me during a burnout (didn't realise for certain what I was going through till after diagnosis the year after)

    Found some of the CBT they offered as online courses was quite good, helped me get some perspective.

    Give it a try , it's worth a shot while you wait, you might find it helpful.

  • Hi Paul P, Thank you very much for your help. I'm very grateful. All the best, I

  • The key for me has been to find ways to break out of the cycle during stages 4 through 7. This can include being open wtih new employers about your past experiences snd grtting support beforr things go wrong

  • Hi EmsaStrange, Thank you very much for your kind advice. I really do appreciate everything you've said and will act on it. Thanks again - and warmest good wishes, I.

  • To me, this sounds like autistic burnout, which slowly builds up over time, consciously and unconsciously. 

    A little more info on burnout here:

    https://www.autism.org.uk/advice-and-guidance/professional-practice/autistic-burnout

    My advice would be to seek a diagnosis, which you have mentioned you are on the never-ending waiting list. Another option would be to consider seeking mental health support - perhaps book an appointment with your GP about this or self-refer to your local IAPT service. 

    I have experienced burnout (I work full time), leading me to a crisis point. Only then did I seek ways to manage any stressors and ask for support from my workplace, GP, and support network.