Published on 12, July, 2020
I’m Female, 35. For as long as I’ve remembered I’ve had an obsession for certain people, usually older women (or girls when I was a child). In a completely non sexual way. When I was younger I would just stare at people which at the time I didn’t notice what I was doing, I remember once another child saying “have I got a telly on my head” and my friend had to explain it was because I was staring at them. Then in high school I’d be so focused on watching how groups of girls interact with each other. I’d get to know people so well by watching both in person and on social media, that I felt I knew them very well.
Some of these people I’d make up imaginary situations in my head, such as that they are my family members and look after me. Which is another thing I’ve always felt I needed to be looked after but unsure why. It all sounds very odd and I still do this now but I’m unsure why. I don’t know whether these are autistic traits or whether I am just strange.
I have a few people like that. Some I haven’t seen for years, some I search endlessly for on social media also.
Uhane I’m very interested to hear about your mother aged women fantasies. I have this also (in a very non-sexual way) of women I know or know of, and recreate scenarios in my head of them caring for me.
I don’t understand it as I have a loving mother and family, so it isn’t as though I’m craving love as I have it.
Ah! it may bew my browser. as my options don't look like yours!
I use firefox on private windows. And encryption from end to end. I see the trouble now!
thanks so much.
I’m not sure, if I understood properly that you couldn’t upload pictures on this site, I hope these screenshots help. I’m sorry if I misunderstood.
Mine looks similar. I wish I could share a screen shot but I have yet to master the uploading of images. If you have any tips?....
Uhane said:I still do it a bit if I travel to a place where I am a stranger.
This got me thinking. Aren’t we strangers everywhere?
I did the same thing at times of protracted loneliness which was most of my youth on through till I began my life as an artist, where I found all the other misfits.
My other people (not just girls) fantasy was that we would play and confide, though, I did have an occasional fantasy about mother-aged older women as givers of special attention and quality time together too. I had a type, even, they were all aging beatniks.
Little gay boys were drawn to me for some reason till puberty drove them on to more appropriate playmates. I always took this very hard. (I am sort of asexual.).
Loneliness brings on this sort of "window-shopping" mentality. I still do it a bit if I travel to a place where I am a stranger. But now I know what it is a simply write a little missive or very short story, making a life for them and I am the sidekick.
I feel something similar and I think my first post here was about the same thing. There is this one person I liked to observe, this was also non sexual though it might have been romantic in some ways, not sure. I still haven't gotten over it despite not seeing that person in years, I still think about them. My best conclusion has been that the thought of them fils some void.
I guess your situation is different though.
This is “aspie quiz” and there are more tests on a site embrace-autism.com. I have one long term friend, but sometimes I got little bit closer to some colleagues for example at work. All of them were either autistic or also ADHD. I was never on the same wavelength with NTs.
Wow I’m so glad it resonates with you too! It’s something that’s always been a big part of my life within my own head.
I actually have a large social circle with lots of different friends. However, the relationships within my own head have always been there.
What is this test you’ve done please?
hi! What you described resonates with me a lot! I filled an aspie quiz some time ago and there was a question, if you imagine friendships/relationships with people. Here is my result.
i guess this might be typical for atypical people. Not for everyone as we are all different. I’ve got a result 100% chance of being aspie/atypical. I also scored 43 points in AQ from the site embrace autism.