Thinking before speaking

It would help to know exactly what you have said when you spoke without thinking. However, apologising isn't always a good idea. From what I have read, an apology is used to heal the hurt feelings of another person (whether the person apologising actually feels sorry or not is irrelevant) but as you're autistic, you are unlikely to be able to read other people well enough to know if their feelings have been hurt. If they haven't, they are likely to have forgotten the incident and if you start apologising it may make you look "weird" to them.

I have sometimes said to someone at work  "I hope I didn't offend you yesterday when I said. . (whatever it was I said)" and they have replied "oh no, not at all" even though I had been worrying about it all night. 

Often we cannot understand why it feels like we are "pushing people away", because we do not understand what they expect from us, or why they accept some people into their circle of friends but not others.

NT individuals apparently judge others not just by what they say but also by facial expression and body language, so it's difficult to advise you. But what I have found with work colleagues is that once I stopped masking and copying and started to be my genuine self and not care what people thought of me, I seemed to become more accepted and have formed friendships. Perhaps it's because I feel more relaxed and they can read that in my body language - who knows?

I hope you find some strategies that help you.

It would help to know exactly what you have said when you spoke without thinking. However, apologising isn't always a good idea. From what I have read, an apology is used to heal the hurt feelings of another person (whether the person apologising actually feels sorry or not is irrelevant) but as you're autistic, you are unlikely to be able to read other people well enough to know if their feelings have been hurt. If they haven't, they are likely to have forgotten the incident and if you start apologising it may make you look "weird" to them.

I have sometimes said to someone at work  "I hope I didn't offend you yesterday when I said. . (whatever it was I said)" and they have replied "oh no, not at all" even though I had been worrying about it all night. 

Often we cannot understand why it feels like we are "pushing people away", because we do not understand what they expect from us, or why they accept some people into their circle of friends but not others.

NT individuals apparently judge others not just by what they say but also by facial expression and body language, so it's difficult to advise you. But what I have found with work colleagues is that once I stopped masking and copying and started to be my genuine self and not care what people thought of me, I seemed to become more accepted and have formed friendships. Perhaps it's because I feel more relaxed and they can read that in my body language - who knows?

I hope you find some strategies that help you.