Published on 12, July, 2020
I’ve never known how to take a compliment. Whenever anyone says anything nice about me, no matter how minor, I just stare blankly, lost for words. I have no clue what to say. This happens even if it’s written in an email or on a forum like this.
Just a feature of my personality or something that is common for autistic people?
I also feel uncomfortable with compliments, for two inter-related reasons. I invariably think they are factually inaccurate, as I am conscious of all the shortcomings that they have yet to spot, but then also feel paralysed by the pressure to live up to their unrealistic expectations of me, which I know that I will fail to do. Hence the compliment is really the first step in me disappointing others, leading to what little self-confidence I have being diminished further, which seems a counterintuitive response to what should be a positive thing, but is yet another way that my brain attempts to destroy me.
Don't worry Amerantin, I have your back and will avoid saying anything nice about you
What IP said, there are a few things I feel OK about being complimented for, but they're all things that I feel I do very well, such as cooking or for some academic work. When someone complement me my first thoughts are 'why?' and 'what do you want?' I fel like people must be having some sort of NT joke at my expense, it's caused all sorts of arguments over the years.