Published on 12, July, 2020
I've always struggled with mornings, I'm guessing a lot of that is autistic intertia, being stuck in a comfy place not wanting to move.
For as long as I can remember I've woke feeling very low, worried and anxious, usually with a dodgy stomach too. It's like I can't face the day. Everything I know I need to do seems too much to face.
Even when I'm awake and don't feel I need to sleep I stay there, until , eventually at the last minute before I'm too late for work or school run etc . I get up. Then I slowly start to pull myself together. As the day goes on I talk myself round and as the day goes on I feel more confident and less anxious, except for fatigue on days where I've had to socialise/be with people a lot.
Once the days over, I don't want to switch off and sleep so I drag the day out as long as I can, wife is usually asleep way before me as she's up an hour or more before , so I'm left lying there watching junk TV or anything to avoid sleep until I drop off. Usually some bad sci-fi or documentaries about UFOs or Bigfoot, anything to escape reality! (That said I'm pretty convinced now on the Bigfoot front, he's chosen the life that'd suit me most days, hiding in the woods avoiding contact!!)
After all this , I finally sleep, then the next morning I'm back at the start of the cycle again.
One theory I have is that while we sleep the mask slips off, taking time to put that back again the next day. I also find I often have dreams about things that stress me out, so it takes a while to get them out of my head when I wake up.
Anyone else the same and have any ways to make it easier?
I envy those who pop out of bed early all refreshed and motivated!
I think "morning people" are a curse on those of us who are owls and want a slow start to the day and dont' really get going unitl afternoon. They always act like getting up at the crack of sparrow fart is something holy and get offended when growled at with a stream of obscenties.