Published on 12, July, 2020
I've always struggled with mornings, I'm guessing a lot of that is autistic intertia, being stuck in a comfy place not wanting to move.
For as long as I can remember I've woke feeling very low, worried and anxious, usually with a dodgy stomach too. It's like I can't face the day. Everything I know I need to do seems too much to face.
Even when I'm awake and don't feel I need to sleep I stay there, until , eventually at the last minute before I'm too late for work or school run etc . I get up. Then I slowly start to pull myself together. As the day goes on I talk myself round and as the day goes on I feel more confident and less anxious, except for fatigue on days where I've had to socialise/be with people a lot.
Once the days over, I don't want to switch off and sleep so I drag the day out as long as I can, wife is usually asleep way before me as she's up an hour or more before , so I'm left lying there watching junk TV or anything to avoid sleep until I drop off. Usually some bad sci-fi or documentaries about UFOs or Bigfoot, anything to escape reality! (That said I'm pretty convinced now on the Bigfoot front, he's chosen the life that'd suit me most days, hiding in the woods avoiding contact!!)
After all this , I finally sleep, then the next morning I'm back at the start of the cycle again.
One theory I have is that while we sleep the mask slips off, taking time to put that back again the next day. I also find I often have dreams about things that stress me out, so it takes a while to get them out of my head when I wake up.
Anyone else the same and have any ways to make it easier?
I envy those who pop out of bed early all refreshed and motivated!
I am the same and I think it's autistic inertia and my general lack of enthusiasm for life. I also keep distracting myself at night and if I don't do this I end up falling sleep even later than usual.
There are the usual sleep schedule strategies but I've never tried them because unhealthy sleep is more fitting for my awful lifestyle, so there was never really any force on me to change. Like I could try replacing watching videos with reading, that might help me fall sleep faster. Or I could leave my phone somewhere far from my bed at night. And for the mornings, I could force myself to take a responsibility like making tea for everyone, then I might feel I need to get up, or sign for an exercise class or something I guess. Again though, I've been too unmotivated to do any of these so maybe you try them out and tell me what happens lol.
Sounds like it's not just me then! I think we're also very logical people so trying something we know might not work seems counterintuitive, usually meaning I'll have decided it won't work so won't try it!
I've also got ADHD ( at diagnosis for ASD I was told I needed "officially" diagnosing , as they were commissioned to do ASD only, but said "I was") this means I often get some confusing symptoms as a result of the 2 working "with or against" eachother.
I think my ADHD got worse as I got older and I struggle to read without being up and off doing something else when something I read triggers a thought, or I bore easily. Otherwise it might help me to sleep, TV and phone do tend to keep me awake a bit.
For me the problem getting up is the one that makes the family struggle with me, as I'm always the one still in bed when they're up wanting to start the day, especially on holidays.
I can go to bed at night really wanting to get up early, but overnight I get "reset" and it all goes round again the next day.
I get bounced out of bed by my dog, so stagger out of bed, let her out and get coffee, lots of coffee, my brain dosen't even begin to function with at least 1 big pot. I gradually plan my day around the the things I have to do, I try and do those first whilst I'm still partly on auto-pilot and then the things I enjoy doing when I fully awake.
Some of the traits overlap , others are different, but there does seem to be some that are specific to having both, which is odd, a bit like "1+1=3" .
I think it might actually be a benefit as they offset eachother at times, , for example sometimes I'm really sociable other times not even slightly, sometimes laser focussed and unmovable, others distracted and a bit hyper. just a shame I can't chose which is when! Lol
lol being both ADHD and autistic must feel weird, I don't have ADHD but I think it's sometimes so in contrast of autism.
Does feel like every thing I find that helps eventually becomes a problem itself too!
I find coffee moves me up my scale away from the distraction and scattered thoughts of ADHD, but too much and it makes me hyper focus on negative thoughts and worries.
Can't seem to win!
I've found caffeine definitely helps, especially in the morning. The sofa tried to wake me most days, but even when he does I still resist getting up, I know the kids or wife will let him out so don't "have to".
one thing that led me to getting diagnosis was caffeine. I'd given it up for a couple of months and felt dreadful, autism symptoms and ADHD symptoms seemed far harder to control. Later the same year I tried to break my habit of drinking beer every Friday night (and most Saturdays) it'd become the way I spent the week, holding back my stresses waiting to drink and escape ( I used to drink a lot more often, until years ago I made a rule of not on week days as it is as affecting my work) that sent me into a spin and eventually the resulting burnout led me to make a call for help, after many decades of masking and struggling it has become a too much.
I'm certain the two substances have supported me and been a crutch for a long time. Alcohol especially when social occasions come along, but inevitably after a lot of drinks I regret it, then have worse anxiety for a few days after.
Weirdly , coffee helps me get to sleep at night, I find it calming.