Published on 12, July, 2020
The difference between sensitivity and awareness is that the former is a reactive defence to an effect and the latter discovery of its cause.
Talking from experience, on the sensitivity side of things, I have had migraine like symptoms (reaction to noise and bright lights) without the headaches for years and having had at least twenty years of migraines, I know the difference.
People look at me because I am constantly washing my hands but that is because I am aware of food and other residues on my skin. This includes flour dust on my fingers from bread rolls that others don't even seem to notice. This skin sensitivity includes feeling a tick on my leg in bed that I couldn't find, when I whipped back the covers, which led to Lymes disease as it bit me (what they call a mite as it is the juvenile version that carries the affliction).
I have also felt fleas crawling through my hair (the problems of having pets) and witnessed one falling off my eyebrow and passing in front of my eyes. I was had a bit of grit blow up from the road and hit me in the face making me jump as well as a piece of wax falling from the top of my ear canal to the bottom.
I have itchy palms and like the Princess and the Pea, in a story by Hans Christian Anderson, can feel small bits of stone when they get in my shoes. My nose itches. My inner itches. My skin in general itches and during hay fever season, I can feel pollen on it from the gorse bushes or corn fields and the sneezing, coughing and watery eyes begin. During the winter I can feel the ground temperature drop as the soles of my feet freeze and my wife's complaints begin about them in bed (keep them away from me!). We are hypersensitive like Roderick Usher in Edgar Alan Poe’s story, The Fall Of The House Of Usher.
Internally this reaction to wheat, gluten and dairy hits me as well in the form of indigestion (as someone put it recently, the characteristic swallowing that is a symptom of this gunge in our system that we are constantly trying to deal with). I don't believe that this is the cause of autism as some 'experts' have postulated but just another symptomatic reaction caused by heightened sensitivity.
The smell of lavender makes me feel ill as does the taste of gin. I clean the dog bowl outside because of the strong smell which my wife seems not to notice at all. I also find citrus fruits to tart for my taste (overwhelming like most sensory input).
Talking of awareness, I realised that my bleary eyes reaction to winter winds (cold air in motion) is the same distortion of sight you get with steam on mirrors; refraction of light through globules of water.
One of my other insights into reality was understanding why gorse bushes, along the river bank, bend over at a certain point. This is because winds get siphoned through a road's underpass, causing turbulence, which tosses them all over the place. I always thought my insights would be of use to society as whole but alas this has not proven to be the case.
This detailed awareness is what makes us so ethical and empathetic because we want to understand neurotypicals and the human world (blend in / not stand out). OCD by the way is a sign of our fastidious nature as well as fear of contagion.
I suffer from restless legs syndrome periodically and crack my joints. I also get very anxious in social situations or job interviews as I never knew what was expected of me. I have a brilliant memory because I hate mess and disorder, in mind or body (everything in its place and a place for everything as the saying goes). This last bit I put down to having an upbeat attitude most of the time as in depression I let everything go to pieces and I don't care about anything.
We are the school genius as neurotypicals are the classroom bullies or their followers, jealous of our ability and unwilling to put in the hard work to join us, so blame us for their own failures.
They try to minimise our abilities and perceptions as they ignore concepts that they don't understand or paranormal events that they don't believe in, dismissing them as wild imagination or fantasy, instead of the truth that threatens them in the form of the future calling. This change will be through gradual, peaceful evolution, not violent revolution. Society should use our hypersensitivity and hyper-awareness to its benefit but instead treats us as freaks or at best a petty annoyance for the rest of humanity.
And still they deny us as a resource, seeing us as a distracting nuisance instead.
We are the conscience and consciousness which they would prefer if we shut up and went away. Personally I think some neurotypicals should be labelled as disabled emotionally, intellectually and on a sensory level as we are hyper-enabled in these areas, However this sensitivity can disable some of us through overwhelm and stop us operating physically and mentally in this world.
See the link below for more of my insights into the human condition or my two books Empty Thoughts From An Empty Head & Observations From Another Planet
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