Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi everyone,
I live in a retirement block with a communal laundry room. I really struggle to use it, because I never know who is going to be in there. I don't like small talk, I don't necessarily want to listen to all their problems, and I really don't want to listen while they slate the building or each other
Part of me feels like telling all of my neighbours I'm Autistic, and then I don't have to worry, and I can just be myself. But then there's the judgement and gossiping which is very likely to follow.
The room is only open certain hours, so it's not like I can go in there late at night. And there isn't really enough room for a washing machine in my apartment.
I was wondering, what you would do. X
That sounds like a difficult situation. I think you have two options. You either tell your neighbours you struggle with small talk, you don’t necessarily have to tell them you’re autistic if you’re not comfortable with that. Or you start the process of realising you don’t have to make small talk. For me, I hate small talk, but have always forced it as I didn’t want the other person uncomfortable. I have realised recently that them being uncomfortable because I’m not making pointless conversation is very much their issue, it also doesn’t matter what they think of me or if they think I’m odd. This isn’t something that can happen overnight, especially if you’ve been masking your autism for a long time!
Thank you.
When I was down there earlier I felt very tearful. There were 3 people in there, lots of noise and it's a small space. Sometimes I avoid going down there, but part of my routine that keeps me well is doing my washing
If I just stopped engaging with them or telling them I don't like small talk, I expect something confrontational would be said. Or they'd talk about me behind my back. Which if alot of them are talking about others negatively, then they probably are talking about me anyway. I wish I didn't care. I'm very sensitive.
It reminds me of bloody secondary school
I've been living here nearly 2 years and have been masking for over 50 years!
I'm just wondering. Can I approach my housing association for my kitchen to be adapted to fit a washer dryer ? Is this classed as a reasonable adjustment ? (I cannot remember the terminology they use for a workplace) and if so, do I have to have an official diagnosis?