Published on 12, July, 2020
I have so little autobiographical memory. My husband remembers ever & remember hardly anything. The result of which is that he can remember everything I have ever said or done wrong and I can't remember anything he has done of said wrong.
He says I have changed since my diagnosis and I am using my autism as an excuse for my poor behaviour.
I have no idea if he is correct or not but he makes it feel like everything is my fault and his unhappiness is due to me.
We are all different, no two people present with the same symptoms, just a sliding scale of them. Everyone has to accept those differences and work with them, don't look at your differences as a problem, use them to improve your life, there will be a way you just have to think of a solution.
I understand you have memory problems, so do I, although my memory problems are a defense mechanism I have developed to protect myself. Most people don't listen to everything they hear or try to memorize everything the read or see, Unfortunately that's exactly what I do, I use the word unfortunately because having a memory like that is a curse. I hate being the only person in the room that remembers events that happen 10 or 20 years ago, because I cant mention those events, if I do most people who don't remember will call me a liar, arguments will happen and I will spend years in seclusion. I just have to watch them make the same mistakes again and again.
However I do remember when my memory problems changed, I learned how to control what I remember or rather I learned how to forget, it was a conscious decision on my part after I worked out neuro typical people never focused on one topic in there conversations, so I started using my autistic power and stopped trying to force myself to focus on a subject even if I excelled in that subject. So now I can probably still remember most things I just don't try too.
Having said all this, we all use autism as both a crutch and an excuse for our behavior. we need to support ourselves when life doesn't quite work out the way we want it. but its never a reason to just give up on trying to understand other people. Yes we sometimes have difficulty expressing ourselves to our friends and family and we deserve their understanding, but they are also having trouble expressing themselves to us as well, and just like us they deserve respect.
Don't just give up because you are autistic, work it out, ask for help if you can, strive to understand them and be more than the person you see in the mirror.