Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello. I am 36 and after being not so subtly asked about autism by my therapist and GP on separate occasions I’ve decided to pursue a private assessment. I am feeling all over the place about it. I have heard from a few people that private assessments aren’t taken as seriously as an NHS assessment, but I really feel I can’t wait however many years for answers. I’m also scared I’m…..making it up. Some days I feel absolutely fine, not overwhelmed, no sensory issues, no stimming, nothing. I’m really scared I’m trying to convince myself I have autism. Any advice would be very welcome!
Goodluck on your assessment journey it is really daunting for some, It was for me I felt like I held my breath. I had the same feelings as you about not stimming etc but after my diagnosis suddenly I was more body aware and in some ways this could be considered a 'regression' but was the most freeing experience of my life and I realised all along I was stimming! I also had overwhelm and social phobia. Sometimes living your whole life undiagnosed you automatically normalise how you feel, think, see, hear and behave but in actuality like my case you did not realise. Some on the spectrum like me have poor inward perception of self and comparing to others.
I would say going into your assessment it is important to really reflect on your life as a whole, the assessors may ask about your childhood. If you are a neurotypical presenting high masker like me then reflecting on your childhood (before you may have learned to mask) is the best bet to getting to the root if you have asd or not.
Thank you very much for taking the time to reply to me! I actually can’t remember much about my childhood which is another obstacle I feel I need to climb over!