Assessment fear

Hi Lynn

I can only tell you about my own experience - my daughter suggested that my life experience was probably an autistic one. I was quite surprised by this as I thought I was leading a typical life. I have a few habits that I thought were just habits (I now realise they're my stims ) I was married for many years and now realise that my late husband supported and enabled me to lead what looked like a "normal" life but looking back all the signs were there but I was masking to be more acceptable. Like many people I just thought autism was something that affected little boys

I knew NHS assesments took several years and I wasn't even convinced my GP would take me seriously at my age (62) I decided to press ahead with a private assessment and was diagnosed a few months later. My GP accepted my private diagnosis which is now on my medical file. Perhaps you can have a conversation with your GP about it before hand? Or perhaps check with whoever you choose to do your assesment to see if their clients have had issues?

Good luck as you push forward to get your answers

Inula

Thank you. I’m glad you got your answers and hope you have found your diagnosis a positive change.

My GP suggested autism and has agreed to write me a referral for my private assessment. I think I’m more concerned that colleagues, peers and family don’t take me seriously.

Hmmm in my experience colleagues and peers are a whole different matter. I've been identified as autistic for less than a year and haven't told many people. Those I have told seem to think it's "such a shame" and sad. Either that or they don't believe me. I think they're a bit stunned that I've appeared "normal" for so long - which I have - but at the cost of exhaustion. As your GP has agreed to an assesment it sounds like they're fully on board so they won't be surprised when they get a letter advising that you have been identified. 

Inula

Hmmm in my experience colleagues and peers are a whole different matter. I've been identified as autistic for less than a year and haven't told many people. Those I have told seem to think it's "such a shame" and sad. Either that or they don't believe me. I think they're a bit stunned that I've appeared "normal" for so long - which I have - but at the cost of exhaustion. As your GP has agreed to an assesment it sounds like they're fully on board so they won't be surprised when they get a letter advising that you have been identified. 

Inula

Thank you for taking the time to share!

I had my assessment online via a Skype/zoom call as I don't drive (learned, passed my test first time, lost interest, gave up! And I now understand I was overwhelmed and couldn't cope!)

Sara sent me a list of topics we would probably cover so I compiled and printed off a pile of documents that detailed all my evidence and experiences. I didn't have a senior family member who could evidence that my traits go back to childhood but she accepted examples of how my childhood was from my viewpoint. 

I was very afraid that I'm so good at hiding my traits that Sara wouldn't see them but in truth I was so stressed out by the time our meeting began I was a bit "off the wall" and mostly dropped my mask. Just through the conversation she would have picked it up though, I'm sure!

After we had spoken for around 2-3 hours she went through the official criteria needed for diagnosis and confirmed examples of those that I had given. She said you meet the criteria I'm happy to refer you to my colleague, an NHS consultant psychiatrist who will cover the criteria again and confirm what I've found.

It took another few weeks for that appointment to come through - another online appointment - and that one was much shorter. We covered the criteria and I gave examples of how I met that criteria. He confirmed what Sara had found and wrote to me and my GP to confirm. 

It was a very nerve wracking experience - leading up to making the appointment, during the appointment and afterwards, waiting for my GP to accept the diagnosis. All the way through it I was thinking - if they say no not autistic then that probably means I'm a pretty useless person who can't make and keep friends, who is broken in some way and not a good person.  But had I not been brave enough to try to get my diagnosis I would still be thinking " am I? aren't I? " instead of moving forward with a better level of understanding of myself. 

Inula

Thank you for your honest reply. I wonder if I could ask you how the process was, I am all over the place. Some days I am certain that this is the answer to why I have found life so difficult compared to others, and other days I feel like I am trying to shoehorn my personality into autistic traits. I’m finding it very difficult so far