Published on 12, July, 2020
Hello,
I have a friend, RK, who is autistic. I learnt a lot of ''normal'' social behaviour from her, for example, giving people complements and asking people if they're okay.
However, some of her behaviour feels confusing.
Conversations are one sentence at a time, rather than going into detail about a topic of interest, which feels very awkward for me. When she was at my house, I had to keep reminding myself not to talk longer than one or two sentences, and to pause and wait for her response.
Also, she said she was 'sad for me' when 'Matthew Perry died' (Chandler Bing from FRIENDS.) I know she is a very empathetic person, and would be said about someone dying, but I do not know Matthew Perry so I am not sure why she would be sad for me.
In another time we met, she told me that she's 'sorry today was boring' but I did not find the day boring at all. We sat in her home, the Aadams Family (1991) was playing on TV, we petted her dog and talked with her siblings. It was a good day.
If anyone can help me understand her a bit, that would be great help.
Thank-you,
Jayde.
Post Script:
All this also makes me question whether or not I am autistic. I mean, if I am autistic I should be able to understand her behaviour. Then it makes me think and worry: what if I'm not autistic, but also not non-autistic. That shouldn't be possible. I feel like I'm just a stupid waste of space who won't be understood by any neurotype.
Jayde. said:I mean, if I am autistic I should be able to understand her behaviour.
It is a spectrum so it makes sense to not understand every single thing and autistic person may do
Jayde. said:Then it makes me think and worry: what if I'm not autistic, but also not non-autistic. That shouldn't be possible. I feel like I'm just a stupid waste of space who won't be understood by any neurotype.
When I first started researching autism I had that argument with myself many many times. Now im at the point where I just try to accept that im autistic and try to shove that impostor feeling away
Those examples to me sound like anxiety about socializing. Trying to make sure shes doing everything "correctly" and wanting you to be having a good time. People say sorry when someone dies, maybe she thought that is what she was 'supposed' to do. Knowing when to speak in conversations can be difficult so back and forth may be easier since she could think, okay they said a sentence, now its my turn, now its there turn.
But those are just guesses, I couldnt say for sure