Depression

Yellow tree 118 said:

But some non autistic people go through equally negative experiences like bullying and lack of relationships yet don’t seem as affected by it.

Not even an hour ago in my government class, there were 3 girls sitting at the desk next to me. One wrote the wrong awnser on the worksheet and started erasing it. Her friends then said "Oh my gosh, youre so stupid, stop being so autistic" while all three of them were laughing at that comment. Autism is like some joke to some people, saying youre autistic if you do something silly or stupid. That girl isnt autistic and I doubt any of them know about what autism really is. I could tell they were trying to make fun of autistic people. Other people at school make simular 'jokes'.

I think most people who get bullied for stuff like having ugly shoes or somthing, may be upset but once they leave school it wont be a problem. Because people mature. But there are stories of autistic adults getting treated unfairly or made fun of. There are even studies proving that NT tend to dislike autistic people just based on looking at them without even knowing they are autistic. 

The only way to survive in this world is by being apart of it. But when im part of it then im lonely because I cant comunicate like everyone else. Everything is too much for my senses. But being forced into that enviroment is going to make you feel down.

Maybe we have trouble recognising when were upset until we are very upset. Then it seems like we are overreacting to a small bad thing, when in reality we just didnt realise we were upset until that moment.

Even this forum, which is supposed to be a nice place for autists to come together, is driving people away. There isnt a place anywhere where we can belong and be happy. Everything always falls apart and people always leave. So of course people will be unhappy

Im not upset with poster btw. Im just upset. You made good points and its a nice post

The only way to survive in this world is by being apart of it. But when im part of it then im lonely because I cant comunicate like everyone else. Everything is too much for my senses. But being forced into that enviroment is going to make you feel down.

There was also an article recently, wish I could recall it, noting that 'autistic' is the now current slur. The positive, I suppose, is that at least our condition is more widely known...

The only way to survive in this world is by being apart of it. But when im part of it then im lonely because I cant comunicate like everyone else. Everything is too much for my senses. But being forced into that enviroment is going to make you feel down.

This has really chimed with me, but I am not sure if I can write a reply that is sensical. I struggle with social interactions, and have been interested in historical hermits and anchorites who, I assumed, were apart from society. Turns out, they had a throughly important social functions and were often highly regarded, and supported, by their communities *because* of their place and character. 

This wish to survive in this world by being apart from it is one I recognise. It is an impossible dream though. I once went to a remote spot, far from the noisy floating world - and realised that I was never ever going to be completely apart from it. It is still there, and I am still here, and we still interact - there are just different levels and types of interaction. The skill, I suppose, it having agency in finding, and opting, the types of interaction that add to your life. It can be frustrating, as it it changeable like water, but when you get on top of it - it blissfully flows. 

Even this forum, which is supposed to be a nice place for autists to come together, is driving people away. There isnt a place anywhere where we can belong and be happy. Everything always falls apart and people always leave. So of course people will be unhappy

This forum is of this world and part of this world, though it might seem apart. And though you are sad now and observe its detrimental issues, you have added, enriched, supported, and contributed to the people here. If you have a nice home and it is destroyed by a tree, you will be unhappy, but that does not counter the happiness that you had in that home. And just because you are not currently living in that home does not make it never your home. It is always your home. There is a big stone Buddha with a charming smile that I have been fortunate to see on the other side of the world. Sure, my stone-faced friend is slowly eroding with the weather (and probably with pollution too),and it seems that he left me (though, I recognise, it was me who left him), I know that because of him I know that the night and the day are not opposites but the same time. And, of course, he is still smiling. I share this with you because every time I think that no one in the world is happy and we are bound to sadness, I suddenly think of him - even recently when I fell ill - see his smile, and start to smile, and realise that my observation is transitory. That does not make it false, and it does not make it true - but makes it like an emotion, free to appear and then disappear with peace.  

My apologies for the long, rambling reply. It has helped me think more clearly - and I share it hoping it provides some comfort for you too. 

The only way to survive in this world is by being apart of it. But when im part of it then im lonely because I cant comunicate like everyone else. Everything is too much for my senses. But being forced into that enviroment is going to make you feel down.

There was also an article recently, wish I could recall it, noting that 'autistic' is the now current slur. The positive, I suppose, is that at least our condition is more widely known...

The only way to survive in this world is by being apart of it. But when im part of it then im lonely because I cant comunicate like everyone else. Everything is too much for my senses. But being forced into that enviroment is going to make you feel down.

This has really chimed with me, but I am not sure if I can write a reply that is sensical. I struggle with social interactions, and have been interested in historical hermits and anchorites who, I assumed, were apart from society. Turns out, they had a throughly important social functions and were often highly regarded, and supported, by their communities *because* of their place and character. 

This wish to survive in this world by being apart from it is one I recognise. It is an impossible dream though. I once went to a remote spot, far from the noisy floating world - and realised that I was never ever going to be completely apart from it. It is still there, and I am still here, and we still interact - there are just different levels and types of interaction. The skill, I suppose, it having agency in finding, and opting, the types of interaction that add to your life. It can be frustrating, as it it changeable like water, but when you get on top of it - it blissfully flows. 

Even this forum, which is supposed to be a nice place for autists to come together, is driving people away. There isnt a place anywhere where we can belong and be happy. Everything always falls apart and people always leave. So of course people will be unhappy

This forum is of this world and part of this world, though it might seem apart. And though you are sad now and observe its detrimental issues, you have added, enriched, supported, and contributed to the people here. If you have a nice home and it is destroyed by a tree, you will be unhappy, but that does not counter the happiness that you had in that home. And just because you are not currently living in that home does not make it never your home. It is always your home. There is a big stone Buddha with a charming smile that I have been fortunate to see on the other side of the world. Sure, my stone-faced friend is slowly eroding with the weather (and probably with pollution too),and it seems that he left me (though, I recognise, it was me who left him), I know that because of him I know that the night and the day are not opposites but the same time. And, of course, he is still smiling. I share this with you because every time I think that no one in the world is happy and we are bound to sadness, I suddenly think of him - even recently when I fell ill - see his smile, and start to smile, and realise that my observation is transitory. That does not make it false, and it does not make it true - but makes it like an emotion, free to appear and then disappear with peace.  

My apologies for the long, rambling reply. It has helped me think more clearly - and I share it hoping it provides some comfort for you too. 

I guess im just upset since someone dear left the forum today (or perhaps yesterday in UK time). 

I am sorry to hear that. 

James said:

There was also an article recently, wish I could recall it, noting that 'autistic' is the now current slur. The positive, I suppose, is that at least our condition is more widely known...

Im not sure if id prefer to not have autism known, or have an incorrect take on autism be known

James said:

If you have a nice home and it is destroyed by a tree, you will be unhappy, but that does not counter the happiness that you had in that home.

Thats true. I guess im just upset since someone dear left the forum today (or perhaps yesterday in UK time).