The loneliness

It's the story of my life. People advise to use these meetup.com and similar things, but I struggle with it due to being autistic. I don't hit it off with anyone anyway, don't know how to talk to people, never make a friend.

I don't know if this helps at all but you may b surprised to know (btw fair warning this gets a bit heavy ) that there's even been a loliness epidemic for men and also that Lonliness is actually found to be the number 1 cause of death...what I'm trying to do is get you to realise that the reason you're struggling is not all of your doing nor your fault just because you're neuro divergent. In fact if you put it into perspective it's more likely to be to do with the times we live in. Be aware that in the 70's 80's 90's education was free people had more money jobs and pay was fairer and they had unions ie people came together etc etc there was more employment culture and community spirit. I'm not trying to be political but just rather point out the changes which result in a very lonely society which we have now. With education gone as in not free it's means   the majority of people  cant afford it  so without college uni etc people can't make those friends and connections that can last a lifetime, also in jobs now due to the lack of power in employment becuse unions are gone etc and are unable to come together so people become isolated and there is a lot of work place bullying  in fact also job placements are not so permanent resulting in a transient environment ie people not around long enough to form friendships plus people are worked harder for less meaning they simply don't have time to socialise or they are too tired or don't have the money to socialise etcetc. Plus covid made more of workforce and shopping go online so now not many people go out like they used to. For example a lot of high st stores closed bus services were stopped pubs closed (i witnessed this here i live) plus they axed local carnivals due to not having money to fund it so as you can see all in allbwe live in a different landscape actualy a lot of people neuro and non neuro divergent people  are actualy till suffering from the effects of isolation  from covid and have permanently affected lives to the point thy canot now get together with others.It goes on ....my son has autism and is struggling with lonlines and I do too and I'm neuro typical ..even people who can afford to go to uni had said they felt lonely. I even saw a documentary about lonliness and the statistics showed that in fact it was many varied and different kinds of people suffering from it . I'm just trying to get you to see it's not personal to you that you're in this situation ...it may be many other factors combined it may be the people who aren't able to socialise with you may have problems themselves. Also people around late 20's to 30's get married and a lo of them just have their spouse as a friend and no other friends and are content like that...also its possible they have a group of friends from school or a close knit family and have no need nor want to widen there social circle. I think as well thre us a feeling of the world becoming more xenophobic due to people struggling with jobs money etc and being angry and thus blaming anyone that's ot the same race or religion etc as them.

To be honest what you need to do is try to socialise in environments you feel comfortable in.ie if you don't like noise then hang out at a library for example...or join a meditation group if you struggle with anxiety or try group sports these are examples of ways to connect with people without too much initial pressure to be social ..plus peopmight be more open to creating friendships in those environments..plus sports or fitness group classes Foster team spirit and break through that awkwardness. Also you can even o on autism websites like this and say hey looking for friends in my area etc.Hope that helps...sadly I think making friends these days is a different thing altogether than it was. Plus don't give yourself a hard time about loosing previous friends as that's just something that happens sometimes and not necessarily for any fault of yours ie some place are transient and don't Foster those kinds of communities ie for example some.places you go to school in A and go to uni in B get a job in C and then other places you go to school I'm A go to uni in A and get job in A these places have strong community and friendships etc. Good luck I hope this helped an didn't just depress you.

Yep, I feel the same, sadly. 

I think it is a crisis that those in power aren't addressing. 

They have a strategy, but I don't see it being implemented.

https://www.gov.uk/government/publications/national-strategy-for-autistic-children-young-people-and-adults-2021-to-2026/the-national-strategy-for-autistic-children-young-people-and-adults-2021-to-2026

If autistic individuals are lonely, isolated and have difficulties with socialising and communicating, then having feelings of depression or suicidal thoughts are going go hand in hand. 

I have tried hard to talk to people, but I always feel left out. 

As such, I take joy in the physical built environment as opposed to socialising. 

I do not feel like I belong as well. 

As neurodiverse autistic people understand each other the best, creating socialising groups of like-minded individuals should be crucial. I think more needs to be done to promote autistic understanding to those who are deemed neurotypical because it is challenging having an invisible disability. Especially when people say you are fine when you are not, just because you don't look disabled, but your mind is.

The current support mechanisms need to be increased because it's not right for autistic individuals to be left isolated and second-guessing themselves on their journey through life. 

Believe me, many of us are in the same position. I don’t have any friends or family and the loneliness is becoming like a physical weight on my chest.

If only all us lonely people could get together.