School refusal

Hi,

I am looking for some advice on how best to support my 15year old son. He has been recently diagnosed as Autistic & dyslexic. He has always hated school & was bullied at primary school. He has tolerated secondary school but things came to a head in year 10 & resulted in only 50% attendance. He has now not returned to school for year 11. He feels stupid and lacks confidence. Any talk of education or next steps are triggers for him. I know he will not make it back in to school, it is so overwhelming for him & he is so far behind with his studies this will only make him feel worse. He is opting not to take his GCSE'S. I have not officially pulled him out of school yet but think it is now time. He has refused all offers of help from the school & cannot even get through the gates.

I have always thought he was dyslexic but the school didn't agree, recently my mum was able to pay for a private assessment for him. He was found to be severely dyslexic with slow processing skills. They also recommend a further assessment for ASD which we then did privately last November. No wonder he has found school such a struggle! We are very fortunate to have had the private assessments paid for by my mum, but I wish it would have come sooner as I really think we could have got him the help he needed to get him through school & saved him so much anxiety. He is a really great young man. He is kind & caring with a great sense of humour. He is well behaved & always has been, he doesn't want to break any rules or disappoint anyone. He gets moody like any 15year old & is quick tempered online or if I talk about next steps, education etc. He has tried CBT for his anxiety with 2 different therapists but hated it! He does not like talking so really wasn't a great fit for him.

As he has to stay in education until he is 18 I am struggling to help with his next steps.  He likes his own company but I know he is bored & feels isolated. He loves his online gaming and has school friends he does this with but does not have any other interests. He is middle ability at school but behind on studies due to absences. He does not want to go to college or participate in any form of education. I am honestly giving him a break from it all right now as his anxiety has been all consuming, my main aim is improving his mental wellbeing at the moment. I run my own business so have been home with him nearly everyday. Its such a struggle getting him out of bed (takes hours) he has never really slept properly. He has started a little excersise routine, which is really positive & I'm trying to at least get him out for fresh air most days but he hates going out. My concern is that he is going to become more & more isolated. I was thinking of homeschooling with the help of a specialist tutor after the summer holidays. Hopefully a tutor will help with his confidence? I guess my question is am I doing the right thing? I don't want to be an enabler to his isolation?  He will go to the cinema with us but that Is about it, he really just wants to stay indoors. 

I worry about his future & getting a job. He measures his self worth on exams, pass, fail etc (something I hate about mainstream education) I obviously tell him this is not the case & give him encouragement & talk positively about his strengths but he doesn't believe me (mainly because I am his mum & he thinks I have to say good things as that what mums do) 

Looking back he would have benefited going to a specialist school but anything like that now is out of the question.He wouldn't do it. He has so much potential, I don't want him to feel like he has missed out. Any advice would be gratefully received.  

Thanks,

Rach