Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi me again. Since my last post re my boyfriend just breaking up with me. I have spoken to his mum. She was very surprised and heartbroken over the way he ended it with me. My boyfriend obviously not telling his parents that he had ended it via text and said he never wanted to see or speak to me again. His versions of events to his parents are just not what happened. He says my family is drama especially my mother. He has told me he does not want to visit my family because they are so much drama , to his parents he has said I don’t want to visit her family as I barely have time to visit my own. Whilst he was ending it with me he told me ny mother was a liar a gossip , she interfered in our relationship and he also did not come to my house because he disliked her, to his parents he said he has respect for my mother, she was a good person but he is worried that in the future she wiil interfere in our relationship. We had gone away over Xmas, he said I was moody and he had to bite his tongue, however when asked to give examples he couldn’t give them ?? I thought we had a great time . He said I am sarcastic, he can’t stick it about me and he’s asked me to change and I don’t . He’s told his parents we argue all the time. We don’t but he wiil bring up arguments from weeks ago if we argue and say I alm doing stuff again. I have literally picked through the relationship, thinking have I done this or that. His parents say he fixates on things as he has done with my mother and he will not change his mind . He has cut me out of his life after 3 years with literally no contact , I must have meant nothing to him. And to end it because of something that ‘may ‘ happen . Is this normal for Asperger’s ? I am utterly devastated.
I haven't read your other post, sorry. I don't know if it's normal for autistic people or not but I don't think it's ok. Maybe he needs help, talking to someone, a professional, but that is not your duty. You should talk to your friends, or family about this, don't worry alone. A breakup is hard in any situation, and this feels like a bad one, take some time to enjoy yourself, try and distract yourself from your thoughts. I am not a doctor and this is not medical advice though. You can't change what happened as long as you tried your best then that is enough, it sounds like you are a caring person, which is amazing, and something to be proud of. There are probably a thousand possible reasons why this happened, all out of your control. I don't know if this is right or not, but my current thinking is that even if aspergers may be able to explain his actions, it doesn't excuse them, he still hurt you and that is not ok.
Thank you so much for your reply. I am at my wits end as the version of events he has given his parents are so far removed from what happened. And to just like literally cut me off after 3 years and we had gone away and honeslty had a good time. If we hadn’t I would be honest and say. He says we argue all the time, but he stores up arguments from like a month before. My family are drama because my parents are divorcing but his mother does not spesk to her brother and both his parents are not fussed on his dad’s sister, but I wouldn’t see that as drama. It’s just what happens in famalies. I have seen him through 3 years of grief as he lost a sibling , however when things get tough for me as in my parents, I also lost a grandparent on Xmas day, he’s cut me off . After I told him about my grandparent Xmas day, he never asked another thing , but a how I was feeling or when the funeral was