Published on 12, July, 2020
Hi me again. Since my last post re my boyfriend just breaking up with me. I have spoken to his mum. She was very surprised and heartbroken over the way he ended it with me. My boyfriend obviously not telling his parents that he had ended it via text and said he never wanted to see or speak to me again. His versions of events to his parents are just not what happened. He says my family is drama especially my mother. He has told me he does not want to visit my family because they are so much drama , to his parents he has said I don’t want to visit her family as I barely have time to visit my own. Whilst he was ending it with me he told me ny mother was a liar a gossip , she interfered in our relationship and he also did not come to my house because he disliked her, to his parents he said he has respect for my mother, she was a good person but he is worried that in the future she wiil interfere in our relationship. We had gone away over Xmas, he said I was moody and he had to bite his tongue, however when asked to give examples he couldn’t give them ?? I thought we had a great time . He said I am sarcastic, he can’t stick it about me and he’s asked me to change and I don’t . He’s told his parents we argue all the time. We don’t but he wiil bring up arguments from weeks ago if we argue and say I alm doing stuff again. I have literally picked through the relationship, thinking have I done this or that. His parents say he fixates on things as he has done with my mother and he will not change his mind . He has cut me out of his life after 3 years with literally no contact , I must have meant nothing to him. And to end it because of something that ‘may ‘ happen . Is this normal for Asperger’s ? I am utterly devastated.
NAS91147 said:Is this normal for Asperger’s ?
Last time you said your boyfriend wasnt ever diagnosed with autism, but his parents and yourself believe he could be.
Im not sure what you are wanting. Do you want advice on how to fix the situation, and are just basing it off the possibility of him being autistic? Are you wanting to know if this situation gives 'proof' that he is autistic?
His parents believe he is definitely Asperger’s. I think what I am wanting is. Is this normal for Asperger’s - the fixation on my mother and my family , the discrepancies in what he’s saying to me to what he’s saying to his parents, the cutting me off without a second thought, the bringing up past disagreements and the ending it be some of something that may happen
Aspergers isnt really used anymore, now its all just autism spectrum.
But I still dont understand why you are asking if its common behavior for autism if he doesnt say hes autistic.
Anyway I dont know if those would be considered as 'normal for aspergers'. Im sure some autistic people would do that. Some non-autistic people probably do that too.
Fixations are common though.
From what I understood, that behavior doesnt seem typical for an autistic person in my opinion. I could be wrong. And all autistic people are different.
I still dont think basing all of this on him being autistic is the best way to go about it. Maybe he does have many autistic traits, but he wasnt officially diagnosed or self-diagnosed. It then seems you are pushing a label he may not agree with, and then further using that label to try to excuse his behavior.