A ''Script'' for asking the GP for autism referal.

Hello,

I have never felt like I have ''masked'' my behaviour before, and instead have just become confused/fustrated when people don't like my behaviour or understand my thought processes. I equally don't understand their behaviour or thought processes. As I have ''grown up'' and am starting to enter the work force, I am finding it increasingly difficult to deal with social communication and routines. I have felt an increasing pressure to ''mask'' my behaviour and follow scripts to help with everyday conversation. The diagnosis I have of OCD doesn't accurately reflect all the other difficulties in social communication and sensory difficulties that I have.

However, It gives me anxiety I feel in my chest every time I think about going to the GP to start the conversation about an autism referal. I am worried because my main problem is that I simply don't know if I'm autistic or not - and I need to start that conversation in order to get the best support as I attempt to become more independant. I am worried that my GP will just dismiss me without allowing a discussion to occur, which is what happened last time I brought up the subject to my psychologist when I was 13. I am worried even if I get a diagnosis that I will be seen as ''making it up'' or ''not really autistic,'' even though all the difficulties I face are accurate to my experience.

My main reason for wanting to seek a diagnosis now is because:

- Despite not feeling that I need to ''mask'' (change) my behaviour, entering the ''wider world'' and conversing with more people I am increasingly feeling pressure to change the way I naturally behave.

- I have often been critised by being told that ''the way I walk and the way my face looks'' is wrong (yet they wouldn't tell me what I need to do in order to do it right.) I have also been told my volume of voice is ''too loud'' and ''people think [I] am shouting'' - something I did change because they told me what the issue was and what I needed to do (''lower your volume and vary it as needed.'') I have been critised for the way I move my body (rocking myself, walking around in circles) and for the way I converse (always about the same range of topics, and a difficulty to engage in topics that don't interest me - even if I think I have appropriately conversed in others' interests.)

- I often misinterpret what other people have said, and I struggle to understand when they try to tell me what it is they meant. Similarly, people tell me that the choice of words that I use don't accuratly represent what I am trying to tell them, even though it makes sense to me and I struggle to choose new words so that they understand me.

-- Yet, I often understand clearly what people who are autistic are trying to tell me and they seem to understand me as well.

--- It is thought the breakdown in communication between autistic and non-autistic is the difference in neurotype. If I am non-autistic, then that would bring the question of why I am able to easily converse with autistic people and struggle with basic communication with non-autistic people.

- I struggle with change to routines and adapting to fit the new routine. This, I feel, is what is making it difficult for me to get a job and also be successful at the job.

- I struggle with understanding the intricacies of different rules, and become very confused if the rules aren't clearly explained. This is what  makes it hard to be successful at a job, because people at the job tell me to ''use my intuition'' but yet, when I use my ''intuition'' the people tell me that I am doing the job wrong. However, they won't tell me what the right thing to do is and tell me it's ''intuitive'' (clearly not?)

- People often tell me that I have said something in a rude or aggressive way, but I haven't intended to behave in such a manner and I did not think the way I was behaving was rude or aggressive. I thought I was behaving similarly to those around me, and I don't know what I am doing different or why people are interpreting my behaviour as different.

- Despite believing that I am looking after myself well, my parents often comment on my inability to look after myself in regards to preparing adequate food and keeping myself clean/tidy.

- There are then sensory difficulties in regards to different sounds, smells and textures but I just try really hard to avoid these things that cause sensory difficulties.

I was wondering if anybody can help me with a script I can use with the GP to help with asserting (politely) that I would like a diagnosis referal.

Thank-you,

Jayde.