Published on 12, July, 2020
I posted on here just before Xmas saying I was disappointed about my doctor's not helping with potential ASD diagnosis.
On Xmas eve I went to my partner's parents. I was so tired by that point I was seeing double at times on the walk up. We stayed a while and I nearly text my partner saying I need to go home. I didn't as I felt bad and we were just sat watching a film.
We got home and I was struggling to think a lot. I then slept all Xmas eve night, had my partner text my mum and sister to say I'd crashed and slept from then until boxing day morning.
I then had extreme panic and anxiety and sensory overload. I am much much better today but I am still recovering from burning out. It's happened a few times in my life and it's honestly hell on earth.
Is this something others experience? Please share if you do.
I felt awful for my partner but she is Polish and Polish people mainly celebrate on Xmas eve so at least she got her Xmas. She's been so supportive she's bought me a book on dealing with your autism.
I am going to read it when I am fully recovered.
All in all this may have been a positive overall experience as I think I am going to diagnose myself for now and stop questioning my ASD.
It's the first time my family had spent Christmas together since 2018 and it was much, much more stressful than it needed to be. Largely down to the behaviour of my mother, who I think is losing it a bit in her old age.
Thankfully, it was a 2 day spell and now it's over again for 12 months.
To be honest, I don't think many people genuinely like Christmas that much. ASD or otherwise, families are suddenly jammed together again out of traditional expectations and that'll inevitably lead to stress and burnout. I don't think anyone from my family enjoyed it.
I'm sorry to hear about your mother. Family members being difficult can really break you.
I agree everyone buys into the advertising of it all and when it comes everyone is exhausted.
I always thought the same thing about family holidays which I will never go on again. They all talk about how amazing it'll be for a year then spend 2 weeks wanting to do the opposite stuff and getting drunk and arguing. What's the point? It's like some neruotypical people like attention so much they can't not be a part of a crowd and when they are in the crowd want to be the centre of attention and all fall out. Or maybe my family are just dysfunctional?
I ended up in fistfight with my own Father one Christmas. How's that for dysfunctional. Thanks God the old git is no longer with us! haha