Published on 12, July, 2020
...ADHD and PMDD.
My girlfriend and I have had a mostly amazing start to our relationship, albeit with a few meltdowns and shutdowns along the way. As an NT person, I'm trying to understand as much as possible, but there are times where I feel completely useless (right now as I type this) because I don't know how to handle the situation properly or know the right things to say. Particularly when my GF tells me she's depressed and wants to kill herself.
I've been told that I'm not listening but I'm trying to. I don't feel like I have the tools to know what I have to do.
I know I can't ask someone to give me answers as that would be impossible, but I was hoping someone might be able to point me in the direction of where I can find information on the tools I need to deal with the tough situations. I want to be the man my GF needs me to be - I don't want to let her down.
Any help would be much appreciated!
Thank you.
I'm so sorry you are both finding yourself in such a terrible time and situation. It sounds like you are doing everything you can to help support her and be there for her during these difficult times under the circumstances.
Very often just being there and listening is the best tool to have. A listening ear and a shoulder to cry on is a support in itself and though she might not realise it right now I expect it is helping.
You sound a very lovely person and she is lucky to have you. Please look after yourself as well. I really do hope things start to get better soon. I'm thinking of you both and will keep you in my thoughts.
That's really very kind of you Tallywallywoo, thank you very much!
It does seem like listening works a good deal. I have no problem listening, but sometimes my biggest problem is saying how I feel or replying to something that is difficult to comprehend/visualize.
The most frustrating part of this whole situation is just how useless the 'professionals' have been. They don't listen at all to what my GF is and isn't able to do.
It's funny because I've never really cared about myself - I just want (and need) my GF to be happy and safe.