Published on 12, July, 2020
...ADHD and PMDD.
My girlfriend and I have had a mostly amazing start to our relationship, albeit with a few meltdowns and shutdowns along the way. As an NT person, I'm trying to understand as much as possible, but there are times where I feel completely useless (right now as I type this) because I don't know how to handle the situation properly or know the right things to say. Particularly when my GF tells me she's depressed and wants to kill herself.
I've been told that I'm not listening but I'm trying to. I don't feel like I have the tools to know what I have to do.
I know I can't ask someone to give me answers as that would be impossible, but I was hoping someone might be able to point me in the direction of where I can find information on the tools I need to deal with the tough situations. I want to be the man my GF needs me to be - I don't want to let her down.
Any help would be much appreciated!
Thank you.
My very personal first hand experience I would say.
NT or ND, it doesn't matter. One must first raise the alarm, loud and wide, to your partner's therapist, other close friends and loved ones, some one else in a position to help the afflicted partner.I f you love them you will cry out for help.
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This is not your bailiwick. The sooner you admit that to your self the sooner you can find your partner the actual help they need. There will be history you need to know to decide to stay or go but staying never ends well, NEVER.
If your partner is telling you they want to kill themselves they often want YOU to be the reason they do not. They are making you responsible for their very existence.That is a hostage situation, not a fair burden to place on anyone. It is time to leave, or become hostage to the situation.
This may sound harsh but the feeling of others cannot hold our own hostage. It is unhealthy, indeed fatal sometimes, for all involved.
so your advising this person to break up with their partner and cause distress and harm to their partner?not very nice...
Please reread more carefully and you will see that what you imply is not what I said.