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My new girlfriend has Austism and...

NAS90435
9 months ago

...ADHD and PMDD.

My girlfriend and I have had a mostly amazing start to our relationship, albeit with a few meltdowns and shutdowns along the way.  As an NT person, I'm trying to understand as much as possible, but there are times where I feel completely useless (right now as I type this) because I don't know how to handle the situation properly or know the right things to say. Particularly when my GF tells me she's depressed and wants to kill herself.

I've been told that I'm not listening but I'm trying to. I don't feel like I have the tools to know what I have to do.

I know I can't ask someone to give me answers as that would be impossible, but I was hoping someone might be able to point me in the direction of where I can find information on the tools I need to deal with the tough situations.  I want to be the man my GF needs me to be - I don't want to let her down.

Any help would be much appreciated!

Thank you. 

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  • 9 months ago

    i dunno.... if someone told me they was depressed and want to kill themselves my first reaction back to them would be "why" as it just seems the logical step to ask why. 

  • 9 months ago in reply to Caelus

    I think one of the problems is she doesn't know why.  Yes she has had a difficult past (growing up and previous relationships were shocking in some instances) and this won't have helped.  I don't think it's any one thing although her medical conditions seem to be playing a more influential role in my opinion.

  • 9 months ago in reply to NAS90435

    Yeah, even the first weeks of taking antidepressants, there is a chance that a person will feel even more negative and have more intensified feelings of wanting to take their own life, which is why any kind of medication should be carefully monitored. 

  • 9 months ago in reply to Hullabaloo

    Yes that is true. Medication should always be administered gradually and monitored until you are settled and responding well.

    OP, I understand the not knowing. I suffer intense deep depression and even now I don't know why. I've been through a lot and something must have hit. It does get easier. Stay strong. Positive vibes to you both right now.

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  • 9 months ago in reply to Hullabaloo

    Yes that is true. Medication should always be administered gradually and monitored until you are settled and responding well.

    OP, I understand the not knowing. I suffer intense deep depression and even now I don't know why. I've been through a lot and something must have hit. It does get easier. Stay strong. Positive vibes to you both right now.

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