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My new girlfriend has Austism and...

NAS90435
9 months ago

...ADHD and PMDD.

My girlfriend and I have had a mostly amazing start to our relationship, albeit with a few meltdowns and shutdowns along the way.  As an NT person, I'm trying to understand as much as possible, but there are times where I feel completely useless (right now as I type this) because I don't know how to handle the situation properly or know the right things to say. Particularly when my GF tells me she's depressed and wants to kill herself.

I've been told that I'm not listening but I'm trying to. I don't feel like I have the tools to know what I have to do.

I know I can't ask someone to give me answers as that would be impossible, but I was hoping someone might be able to point me in the direction of where I can find information on the tools I need to deal with the tough situations.  I want to be the man my GF needs me to be - I don't want to let her down.

Any help would be much appreciated!

Thank you. 

Parents
  • 9 months ago

    Are you able to discuss this with your GF when she is in a calmer, more stable mood?
    When she's not feeling so desperate she may be able to point you in the right direction.

    Don't be afraid from calling the emergency services if you feel that your GF is a risk of harming or worse.

    I have been in a bad way several times (well, more than several times) over the past 3 years where I have either left the house with bad intentions or have been in an extremely fragile state at home. Each time my wife has called the Police or ambulance (or both) and the good news is that I'm still here today because of that. Whether the scenario has been me precariously hanging off the top floor of a multi-storey carpark or I have had a meltdown at home and am threatening my own safety or others with a knife.

Reply
  • 9 months ago

    Are you able to discuss this with your GF when she is in a calmer, more stable mood?
    When she's not feeling so desperate she may be able to point you in the right direction.

    Don't be afraid from calling the emergency services if you feel that your GF is a risk of harming or worse.

    I have been in a bad way several times (well, more than several times) over the past 3 years where I have either left the house with bad intentions or have been in an extremely fragile state at home. Each time my wife has called the Police or ambulance (or both) and the good news is that I'm still here today because of that. Whether the scenario has been me precariously hanging off the top floor of a multi-storey carpark or I have had a meltdown at home and am threatening my own safety or others with a knife.

Children
  • 9 months ago in reply to GPK26

    I'm glad that your wife helped you out when you needed it the most. Mental health is really important. I'm glad you are still here to help others with similar issues. 

  • 9 months ago in reply to GPK26

    In the past the emergency services have been called to help her.

    One of the biggest problems is that where she lives the mental health team hasn't helped.  I appreciate they will be busy but they never seem to grasp the seriousness of her situation - especially right now!

    I don't live close enough either that I can just drive over and help which makes me feel pretty helpless a lot of times.