Published on 12, July, 2020
(from a discussion I joined in Reddit)
I have been noticing a trend of people who claim that autism is not an disability, I think there were even some people who were asking to remove it from the classification. Do these people not realise the harm they are making to other autistic people, and themselves, just because they have a prejudice against the "disability" designation?
Last year I got my ASD diagnosis, after my social life was ruined by burnouts and horrible blunders.
It is taking all that is in me to admit to myself that I can not do certain things, it is taking all that it is in my self to cope that can not fight my social awkwardness and that this is the only way I can keep socialising with the people. In the best case scenario I end up looking like the "weird one" or the "clown friend" again, it is taking all in me to accept that I have this disability and that I need some accessibility for things.
And yet people keep working to feed this prejudice that many of us have to work against in ourselves.
Every time that I feel I can not express the way I feel or think, it honestly feels like my body is a trap sometimes.
I cannot read body language and vocal cues. Dogs can. I am less functional than a goddamn dog. That's not the fault of society for not being accommodating enough.
I cannot drive at night, bright lights give me an headache and trigger a meltdown. That's not the fault of society for not being accommodating enough.
I cannot stand loud TV or radio. Everybody else can. That's not the fault of society for not being accommodating enough.
I cannot read a map or find my way around an unfamiliar place. That's not the fault of society for not being accommodating enough.
I have poor fine motor control skills. That's not the fault of society for not being accommodating enough.
Something *is* wrong with my brain. I *am* disabled. I need accommodations to function comfortably, and that's okay. It's nothing to be ashamed of because it's not my fault. I did no wrong; I just have a brain that didn't develop correctly. We need to get rid of "AuTiSM Iz MaGiKaL SupErPoWeR". It is not. It's an horrible disability, and my only hope is that someday there will be a way to prevent it.
To be honest, I think that those people saying that ASD is not a disability are either subscribing to the social theory of disability (total lunacy), deluded, or they have such a mild form of ASD that ASD is not a disability for them. I call them the "TikTok autistics"!
Why do you think I do that? Because I'm on the Left?
Judge Dredd said:To be honest, I think that those people saying that ASD is not a disability are either subscribing to the social theory of disability (total lunacy), deluded, or they have such a mild form of ASD that ASD is not a disability for them. I call them the "TikTok autistics"!
You know nothing about our lives. This is just another pot stirring thread you've made to divide this community. Kerri-ModRoss-Mod
You could blame the whole world.
It's a shame that is your take away because I wrote everything I said out of acceptance and kindness to you because at a few stages in my life I had felt as you do. I can't help if you don't like my writing style or misinterpret my communication as condescending, but I cannot find a single unkind thing that I said to you in that reply.Not once did I feel like talking down to you. And I still don't. I'm autistic not trying to be rude and I thought as another autistic person you would understand. So autistic adult to autistic adult I will just say I understand you are in a negative headspace and it's not your fault but stop trying to twist my words and make an enemy where there isn't one because you have no right to do so and it's perverse.
I'm bowing out of this one. I don't need the toxicity of your aggressiveness. Nor your condescending attitude.
If could press a button that would get rid of it, I wouldn’t need a second to think about it, I’d just press that button.
I don't know if I'd say it is a gift, I stand by the term DIFFERENT NOT LESS. But I agree with almost everything else you said here. Particularly the bit about internalised ableism/self hatred, and not getting stuck pointlessly mourning the actually impossible to know "what could have been".
There is a lot of internalised ableism and self hatred here I see. You are the way you are! Accept it and move on. Life is too short to be bitter about life if you weren’t autistic this if you weren’t autistic that. But you are autistic so make the most of it whilst you have the time to do it. Life is too short. I don’t wish I never had autism. I wouldn’t have experienced all the things I did if it weren’t for autism. Autism is a gift you just haven’t realised it yet but you will.
firemonkey said: I don't want anyone telling me it's not a disability just as much as you want the opposite
Want, has nothing to do with facts. And I am being misrepresented as the "opposite" I never said it was never a disability or that there are not people who feel that way. As I said to Majolan: "I literally never said that. "
What I DID say was:
π Bees π (they/them) Autism resources in bio #stoptheshock #NothingAboutUsWithoutUs said:Some of us don't feel like it's a disability, or don't feel like it is a disability in the same sense as other conditions.
And:
π Bees π (they/them) Autism resources in bio #stoptheshock #NothingAboutUsWithoutUs said:You cannot police how other people feel and talk about their autistic experience.
If you feel you are disabled by being autistic then I am not saying you aren't. But Autistic people are not a "monolith". You cannot claim that I am disabled because of autism. BOTH our experiences are true, yours is not wrong because it doesn't match mine, and mine is not wrong because it dosn't match yours. We all have to remember that we speak only for ourselves. Which is what I did, no more, no less. And I'd appreciate if we in this forum would refrain from the Twitter thing of taking posts out of context and twisting them into the most ungenerous misinterpretations.My only issue with what you say is you say words like "well enough" but Autism is not a disease. And we are not stuck at a single "functioning level" all our lives I heard this from an autism specialist, and I know it from experience. You cannot say I am "high functioning" just because I am happy and do not have great support needs at this particular time, it's logically erroneous, and doesn't help me if the rest of my mental health should plummet and make me "low functioning" again, but having support needs is actually universal, not unique to autism like some make it out to be. That is the only bone of contention between us. But I accept if you simply find those terms useful to your own experiences and use them for yourself. I'd just like the same respect that you don't use that language if you talk about me being autistic, because only I know what it's like to be me, just like only you know what it is like to be you.The problem here is that when people talk generally it's easy to feel like you got picked up and swept along under the generalisation and feel we are being misrepresented as individuals. What Judge should have done was specify: "Can we please stop saying that autism is not disabling me?! This is NOT helping ME". That way he wouldn't be imposing his issues on to others, and policing how others can talk about their own experiences. Though most of us are guilty of this error through imperfect language use sooner or later.
My experience has taught it is never just one thing in isolation that causes issues for a person, it is a combination. Most of the reasons people's lives suck is that wider society is cruel and arbitrary to anyone that doesn't fit in with a generalised expectation. I could be socially rejected because of the way I look, but that isn't a disability on it's own.I tell you what I think is my disability it is abuse CPTSD and OCD, those have messed with my life way more than being autistic ever has. And it is depression and anxiety and self doubt that led to learned helplessness, and agoraphobia from those 2. I am very certain had I never been abused for being an autistic child my adult life would have been even better than it is now, and rn it is pretty good actually (recovery is a wonderful thing). And nobody can tell me it's my or "my autism's" fault I was abused. I'm not responsible for the evil of other people. Autism isn't an excuse for people being cruel and neglectful of others. Before I was abused, I was autisic AND happy, after recovering from that abuse I am still autistic and I am happy again.Nobody can take that away from me and that people try to is sick.
I wouldn’t say I’d be happy to do it, but I’d seriously consider it.
Autism has made life a solo endeavour for me, and that’s just not a life worth living.
It seems to me that there's a need to separate those well enough too see it as positive thing to have , from those of us impaired enough to regard it as a disability. At the moment there are two groups fanatically trying to 'police' things- parents of those who are very disabled and very high functioning people who have the dx. @festive bees I don't want anyone telling me it's not a disability just as much as you want the opposite
Thank you! I am glad you agree!
Amerantin (former member) said:Maybe they struggle in ways I canβt see but their lives look pretty good to me.
That's exactly what's happening.
To give you some insight fron my own personal experience: I have a full time job and a long-term partner, and my autism assessment report described me as 'articulate and imaginative'. So exactly the kind of person you're thinking of.
But what that description of myself didn't include is what came next in that report: the recognition that this articulate, storytelling, successful woman is a persona and that maintaining it comes at great personal cost to me, because of all the masking I did to get to where I am now. I also can't cook for myself, or drive, or keep my home tidy. I can't go to the supermarket because the sensory experience is physically painful. I have to work at home because when I had a daily commute I was also having daily meltdowns.
So yes, autistic people who seem to have pretty good lives probably ARE struggling in ways you can't see.
Agreed.
I strongly do not think that being autistic is the reason ‘why autistic lives suck’ . Instead there are obviously life experiences that autistic people are more likely to encounter such as bullying and other harm that results from society not understanding or accepting difference that can lead to suffering and significant distress for members of our community.
More often than not, it is the way we autistics are pathologised and ostracised in society that leads to harm and distress. Also, many institutions such as the education system are only suited to neuro normative culture and don’t consider the needs of people who think and experience the world differently.
I won't blame myself then.
Is Autism not the reason a lot of Autistic lives suck? Should I blame myself instead?
I literally never said that.
π Bees π (they/them) Autism resources in bio #stoptheshock #NothingAboutUsWithoutUs said: You cannot police how other people feel and talk about their autistic experience.Some of us don't feel like it's a disability, or don't feel like it is a disability in the same sense as other conditions.
Absolutely!
π Bees π (they/them) Autism resources in bio #stoptheshock #NothingAboutUsWithoutUs said:I'm never going to talk about myself in terms of deficits and hold an imaginary standard most people even the "neurotypical" ones don't reach up on a pedestal, just because someone else thinks their life sucks and autism is the boogey man.
I completely agree! Thanks for advocating and trying to change perspectives of our autistic experiences.