Published on 12, July, 2020
(from a discussion I joined in Reddit)
I have been noticing a trend of people who claim that autism is not an disability, I think there were even some people who were asking to remove it from the classification. Do these people not realise the harm they are making to other autistic people, and themselves, just because they have a prejudice against the "disability" designation?
Last year I got my ASD diagnosis, after my social life was ruined by burnouts and horrible blunders.
It is taking all that is in me to admit to myself that I can not do certain things, it is taking all that it is in my self to cope that can not fight my social awkwardness and that this is the only way I can keep socialising with the people. In the best case scenario I end up looking like the "weird one" or the "clown friend" again, it is taking all in me to accept that I have this disability and that I need some accessibility for things.
And yet people keep working to feed this prejudice that many of us have to work against in ourselves.
Every time that I feel I can not express the way I feel or think, it honestly feels like my body is a trap sometimes.
I cannot read body language and vocal cues. Dogs can. I am less functional than a goddamn dog. That's not the fault of society for not being accommodating enough.
I cannot drive at night, bright lights give me an headache and trigger a meltdown. That's not the fault of society for not being accommodating enough.
I cannot stand loud TV or radio. Everybody else can. That's not the fault of society for not being accommodating enough.
I cannot read a map or find my way around an unfamiliar place. That's not the fault of society for not being accommodating enough.
I have poor fine motor control skills. That's not the fault of society for not being accommodating enough.
Something *is* wrong with my brain. I *am* disabled. I need accommodations to function comfortably, and that's okay. It's nothing to be ashamed of because it's not my fault. I did no wrong; I just have a brain that didn't develop correctly. We need to get rid of "AuTiSM Iz MaGiKaL SupErPoWeR". It is not. It's an horrible disability, and my only hope is that someday there will be a way to prevent it.
To be honest, I think that those people saying that ASD is not a disability are either subscribing to the social theory of disability (total lunacy), deluded, or they have such a mild form of ASD that ASD is not a disability for them. I call them the "TikTok autistics"!
I'm coming up to the anniversary of my diagnosis. Possibly the thing I've struggled with the most, is the word disability. I used to believe I could do anything I wanted to, to be told at 50 something, actually you're this, was kind of a body blow.
However, I now accept that yeah this or that happened and there was sweet fa that I could do about it as I was/am autistic. That's not defeatist, I now realise I need to find different ways of dealing with situations, but yeah, it's a disability. I think people who say it's not just haven't found the thing yet that's stopped them or aren't being honest with themselves.
There are situations I used to put up with, that I no longer do as I understand how draining it is for me, so some people say I've changed and I just think, yeah cos I'm no longer prepared to put with that and I'm not going to.
Do I think it's horrible, no, do I think it's a superpower, no, do I recognise it as both a strength and a weakness, yep I do.
OK, had to switch off from this thread yesterday. Some things I want to say are that the definition of disability is legal and involves impairment. The diagnostic crieria also contains "Symptoms cause clinically significant impairment", so from that I deduce I am legally labelled disabled whether I like it or not. Whether other people accept that or not.
Science is a whole other kettle of fish based around statistical probability of how we think things work. Different discussion.
So, the question I had to deal with was around my own perception of disability and that being disabled didn't mean you were lesser or had a deficit. That it was actually OK to ask for help and accept that I have different needs than others. That my initial thinking was based around my own internal ableism that I hadn't been aware of previously.
I've begun my journey of getting reasonable adjustments, of making my own changes in how I live my life to try and be kinder to myself. I can't change how I think or being autistic but I can change how I deal with it.
I'm replying to myself as I hate conflict and don't want anyone to think this is directed at them or to fall out with anyone, it's not.
Joe said:I've begun my journey of getting reasonable adjustments, of making my own changes in how I live my life to try and be kinder to myself. I can't change how I think or being autistic but I can change how I deal with it.
Well said. I’m at that stage too.
And me. I'm glad Amerantin (former member) mentioned 'internal ableism'. I hadn't thought of it with those words before exactly.